Alex Shalman.comPractical Personal Development

Disclaimer: I am against torturing of animals, but men… like it.

This article is to serve men as a warning, to be cautious of the insecure females who lurk in broad daylight; and to assist the other women – those who ‘always’ attract the wrong men.

The Basics

What men want: A woman who will fill their bellies, raise their kiddies, and put out their fires.

What men need: A woman that will stand independently, make them chase her, and always keep them guessing if they really have her.

What women need and want: Same thing as men, do not let social dynamics tell you otherwise.

So… you say torture?

Wikipediea defines psychological torture as follows:

Psychological torture uses psychological pain to inflict torment and is less well known because its effects are often invisible to others. It uses non-physical methods to induce pain in the subject’s mental, emotional, and psychological states. Since there is no international political consensus on what constitutes psychological torture, it is often overlooked, denied and called other things.

Some specific forms of psychological torture include:

1. Partial or total sensory deprivation
2. Being held incommunicado

You too can use psychological torture, against men, and they’ll love you for it. That makes it okay, right?

You have my attention… show me the light.

The greatest gift you can give a man is the gift of missing you (possible runner up to birth of a child?), without neglecting him.

You do this by being the happy, cheerful, amazing person that you are, when you are around him. You give him no grief, no trouble, and you light up his day. However, you do this in quick bursts, with few and far between. This means do not spend all day, everyday, with him. Keep him incommunicado in between seeing him.

Why? Because. You will get too comfortable with each other and the novelty of the relationship will dwindle away. Just give this a try, see each other once or twice a week and you’ll greet each other like happy little kids.

Do not forget to…

“Pet the puppy,” a quote I got from my Landmark forum leader, Susan Rink, in August of 06. When your guy does something you like, something that makes you happy or something thoughtful that shows he tried, “pet the puppy”. This is a very fundamental psychological maneuver, also known as the reward system. By promoting good actions you turn them into good habits. Your “puppy” will be happy, do not forget to do this, or else suffer the consequences of a neglected puppy.

Make him work for it

Have you ever told a young child not to do something only to find that he’s getting into something or touching what he isn’t supposed to? Children do this to see where the limit is, it is their way of exploring the world. In reality, this kind of behavior never stops. People will always explore and will always try to see where the limits and boundaries are.

A guy you meet will try to get your number. If you give it to him he will try to get you out on a date. If he gets you out on a date he will try to sleep with you. Once that happens he will want you to be his girlfriend. Once you are his girlfriend he will want you to move in with him. Once your living together he will propose to you. Does this sound good to you? Keep dreaming. This is a delusion that many people hold true.

In reality:

• Once a guy is sleeping with you he really has no reason to ask you to be his girlfriend.
• Once you are living together, he has no reason to propose to you.

So what should you do? Make him work for it!

It starts at first sight, when he asks for your number. You tease him about his lame attempts to try to get your number.

Make him ask you out on a date several times before accepting. Make sure it is a public place and make sure he knows that you want it public in case he turns out to be some kind of “creep”.

Do not even kiss him until the third date and you can forget about sleeping with him until you are in an official relationship for some months.

This is torture to ME, why would I want to not sleep with him? To make him work for it! When you work for something you appreciate, cherish and adore it. So let him cherish you!

Under no circumstances should you see him on any constant basis if you want the relationship to progress. This means you don’t sleep with him unless he earns it, by doing something so super-duper special and out of his way and puts in a lot of effort into it. Then not again until he tops it.

If you are already moved in then he has you around when he wants and grows comfortable with the situation. Why would he want to go through some elaborate ceremony where he has to dress up in a monkey suit and make small talk with a bunch of in-laws?

The way around that is to get to the point where he wants to spend every moment with you and can’t live without you. Let’s call this a “good obsessed”. Limit your time with him and make the time you spend with him be absolutely mind blowing. Create an addiction. You want him to be head over heels, pull his hair out, jump off the walls in love with you, right? Well love is sort of like an addiction. Make him work for it.

No way! I hate games!

By my definition, life is a game, so do you hate life? The only two reasons why people hate games is because they are too easy, or too hard. People require a perfect balance between goal achievement, gratification and challenge. You wouldn’t put a 12 year old into a professional NFL game; too hard, no fun. Likewise, you wouldn’t put Michael Jordan into a high school basketball game; too easy, no fun.

So, if you are complaining that you hate playing games, chances are it’s because you’re not good at them. Learn, practice, play, enjoy – the motto for gaining any new skill.

Playing such games will evoke feelings in a man that might otherwise not be there. Is this manipulation? Is it immoral or unethical? Not if your intention is to meet a wonderful man, make him adore you by showing him the best of you, and ultimately be great to him.

If you try to use these tactics just to hurt someone, cause them pain, and be evil… think karma.

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