There was quite a bit of controversy around my recent post, What Women Want In A Man ^[1]. Some people took offense, some sided with my ideas, and some remained neutral. I believe that I did not do justice to some of my ideas when transferring them from my head to my writing. I apologize and take responsibility for the miscommunication, since it is my job as a writer to communicate effectively. I can see how some of the things I said sounded chauvinistic (i did not intend to hurt or single out a group of people), so I’m going to readdress and clarify them.

Ok, so here’s the shocker, what women want is…. a man. If that didn’t click, allow me to explain. In the hunter-gatherer days, men ruled with an iron fist. There was no question about who was the leader of the tribe, and there was no question about the roles in those societies. Am I being sexist? Do I believe that women shouldn’t be CEOs of huge corporations or President’s of great nations? Keep reading.

I can see how talking about hunter-gather days and genetics can seem a tad outdated. The successful relationships that I witness in my life consist of a masculine man and a feminine woman. These relationships look happy, fun, and loving. The men always make sure the women are well taken care of and enjoy their company at all times. They are gentlemen.

Do I believe that women shouldn’t be CEOs of huge corporations or President’s of great nations? No, this is not my belief. Any person that is the best candidate for the job, based on all necessary requirements, should have an equal opportunity, treatment and salary.

Within the male-female dynamic, a woman wants their man to be the leader. They WANT the man to make the decisions… it’s easier, they have one less thing to worry about, and they can’t really explain it, but it looks good on their guy.

I’ve talked this one over with some of my friends that are very successful in relationships. When women want a man that will make decisions, it isn’t really about having one less thing to worry about. It has to do with the fact that decisiveness is a leadership trait, which is very admirable.

It is my belief that a woman would want a man that has strong desirable traits vs. weak non-desirable traits. The higher value that a man can prove himself to be, the higher value mates he will attract and vice versa. It would be an injustice to pick somebody with a weak undesirable character trait, when there is another male with a strong desirable character trait available to be chosen. The injustice would be to the future family of this couple, because the point is to do the best for yourself that you can. So yes, decisiveness and leadership are traits that look good on a guy.

Women want to be reprimanded. They’re constantly testing a man, to see if he really is the dominant leader type that they need in their life. They may start off with an innapropriate comment, unpleasant action, or other trivial situation. Woman need to be put in their place. “Listen, that was not appropriate (or that was not okay to do) so don’t do that again.” Those magic words will get you impressive results.

Treat people with respect, and expect respect in return. My comment about reprimanding women means the following. From the high quality relationships that I have witnessed in my life, the men have certain standards of behavior and respect for both themselves and people in the life. They expect for the women to respect their personal rules for their life, their time and their property. If a woman somehow disrespects them, their time, or their property they let her know that this is not acceptable. This is true for all people, everyone who deserves respect.

These high quality men consider themselves first (sometimes that means they must consider what their partner is going through VERY carefully). They know that their well-being and their happiness will resonate with the people around them, and in turn everyone wins. Imagine always putting other people first, neglecting your health and ending up on a death bed. What good are you to your family then? When should you have put yourself first?

The concept applies to other things, such as happiness. If you do not put your own happiness first, then you are doing a disservice to the people in your life. By putting other’s happiness first, you steer yourself towards a life without fulfillment. This is why I say not to go out of your way for a woman, unless going out of your way makes you happy too.

Women do not want a man that they can manipulate. If a woman knows that she can do something that will piss you off, and you let her know it, she’ll just do it again and again. Remember that this is your reality, and the other person is just a visitor. Their stay is welcome just as long as they behave.

This doesn’t mean that women try to do things intentionally to mess up things that men do, and they don’t necessarily do them over and over and over, because that’s just wrong. However, I feel like they unintentionally do things that will test a man at a subtle level to see if he’s really a man.

There are certain important qualities that a woman needs to know (must find out) about a man, but can not ask, because she may be lied to. They want to know if a man will care for them, support them, be a good person, have high integrity and be a leader. This is why I said; do not cry in front of your woman, she will lose respect for you. A woman wants a man that can handle himself, when push comes to shove. Someone that will be able to protect her and their family if need be. Sometimes it just isn’t a good idea to let your guard down, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone.

If they wanted to sit around and cry, they would call up their girlfriends and have a tissue party. Guys, if you’ve cried in front of a girl for any reason other than to grieve the loss of a dearly beloved, then you’ve lost all their respect, and you will never get it back. Move on, reevaluate life, be a man next time.

This is another situation where a man must stand his ground, because he is always being tested to see what type of character he really has. As I previously mentioned, women need to test their men, to be sure that they are of the quality that they seek for themselves and their family. Exhibiting signs of weakness is unattractive, and will make or break the opinion that a woman has of a man if done early enough in a relationship.
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I chose to write about these certain character traits because I have personally seen them used in successful relationships that involve high quality people. Some men are nearly born with great character traits, while some need to practice them as if they were skills, until they possess these traits.
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As always, I have a lot of respect for the opinion of my readers. You really are what makes this site, otherwise I would just be talking to myself. I would love to hear any constructive criticisms in the comments below.

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