How To Make Everything The Bright Side
For nearly every situation, there is a way to make it seem positive. If you missed the bus, you met an interesting person waiting for the next one. If you lost a loved one, you began to finally value your own life. If you had a “failed” relationship, you learned a valuable lesson.
Going through life with a new paradigm has been serving me well these past few weeks. I’ve been able to take situations, separate myself from them, and turn them around until I see the positive aspect of the experience. Some may see this as a delusion, but I see it as exercising a choice.
While every person may not have a choice as to what happens, everyone is given a choice as to how they will react. Reaction is the most powerful choice that a person can exercise. Mastering this choice will give you the power to turn hate into love, fear into courage, despair into hope, and death into life.
All you have to understand is that this is your reality. All you have to do is ask yourself: How do I want this to affect me?
Posted by Alex Shalman in Personal Development | May 22, 2007 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 29 comments
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I couldn’t have said it better.
Being able to stop, breathe, and decide what I will learn, what I will take from what happens around me is powerful, and very much my choice.
I want each experience to make me stronger, but gentler — more flexible like softer shoe leather. I want each event to make my eyes and my heart more open to other people. I can’t do that if I turn my mind in toward myself . . . that’s why I chose to look forward with a positive outlook.
You’re right, Alex. We have the power to choose. It’s not delusion. Reality itself is just one person’s perception . . . an illusion. Better we choose our illusion
And did you know that by doing so we also choose positive chemicals to release in our brains?
Alex… way to go. I suspect you’ve been enjoying your life more too. Seeing the negative all the time is the REAL delusion.
There’s an old adage Alex… “That which does not kill me, only serves to make me stronger.” I’ve never forgotten that when faced with adversity.
Zig Ziglar s particular about the differentiation between reacting to or responding to a difficulty. Reacting is negative as it leaves the event in control of you, while responding is positive because YOU CHOOSE your next course of action.
Alex,
This is such a powerful thing to learn. One of the biggest influences in my entire life has been Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements. I wrote a series on it a few months ago if you’re interested. If you haven’t read the book already, you are definitely in for a treat. I wish someone would have introduced me to it when I was much younger!
http://o-my-goodness.livejournal.com/22661.html
Liz,
I love how you have a specific thing you want to get out of each event, no matter what it is.
Dave,
Yes, I have been running around enjoying life more. Could you tell by the smaller frequency of posts? =)
Daniel,
I meant reaction, as a choice. So I think it would make it a response in Zigs distinction.
Lornadoone,
I’ll check that out, thank you!
hi
there is this page i found which tracks all the top blogs about personal development in just a single page
http://www.netreputation.co.uk/directory/Personal%20Development
you are on it too
This is something that gets much much easier with practice. Just stop, take a step back, and re-analyse. If you can;t find anything good about the situation, be thankful it’s no worse than it is.
welcome to what buddhists call mindfulness. Taking an active role in your perception of life is the biggest step most people never make.
gl.
Well said and so concisely said! I write about this type of stuff too. It’s the only way to live your life. I’ve always said “Life is Good!” - way before the t-shirts came out.
Happy to find your blog! I love the colors. Usually dark background is hard to read, like when it is black. But this color is actually very soothing on the eyes!
Pity the poor ‘paradigm.’ It’s passed through so many guts on its way to the sewers of politics and cesspools of popular culture.
The late historian of science, Thomas Kuhn introduced his conception of a ‘paradigm’ in The Structure of Scientific Revolutions (1962)! No nutritional value remains.
As for the “old adage” misquoted above, here’s the original, translated by Kaufmann into English.
It’s the entire section 8 from The Twilight of the Idols (1888) by Nietzsche:
Out of life’s school of war: What does not destroy me makes me stronger.
Of course what section 8 “means” can’t be determined ripped out of context. Just as ‘paradigm’ can not.
Get some fresh metaphors.
eye-of-horus
It might be more accurate that you are choosing a different interpretation. And then your emotional reactions come from the interpretation you choose.
When you choose a positive interpretation, you feel better about the same situation. This is the most basic area of exercising free will. It’s also where many people trap themselves with illusions. The power to create can cut both ways.
One of the most interesting things i’ve found is that because we see life a certain way, we find ourselves in certain situations. The past has a way of repeating itself. So if we experience a negative event we can choose to see it that way, and we’ll probably repeat that event again- it may be in a different place or with a diff person.. but the situation will resurface. However- if we take this situation and make it the bright side(as u said) and really learn from it.. then we can prevent it from repeating again and create a new future for ourselves! it’s amazing!
Nice post. If we keep a positive look regarding the events and experiences in our lives, I believe that there is something good that will happen. We can always hope for something good.
I agree that we all have a choice as to how we will react. If we train our mind to be positive during these situations, I believe that everything would be alright.
YES!! I am living in that crazy world of unemployment - sometimes happy to have time to create a new future for myself then sometimes scared of what lies ahead. Put my husband’s less than solid job into the mix and I’d say this is our year of uncertainty. If we choose well each and every day it can become the year that changed our live for the better - the eyar we started living our dreams so that whne we tell our children to ‘GoForIt’ they don’t look at us like we’re crazy and say - you never did - you always played it safe! I told my husband yesterday that I do not know HOW - all I know is that we will make it through this!
Hey Alex, welcome to the world of the Half-Fullers! Glad to have you in the club. Remember our motto - “looking at the literal world in a favorable way”.
I’ll teach you the secret handshake next time we get together….
Thanks for submitting this to the !Visualize Possibilities! Blog Carnival!
I am posting it today including my favorite quote from your submission.
Heather Flanagan
Cultural Visionary
http://www.VisualizePossibilities.com
I’ve always been very optimistic. However it seems that sometimes a congruence of events can surely test me. Your post has helped renew my resolve, thanks.
Sorry about the typo.. I meant to write “confluence” of events
Interesting article, I agree that your reaction is always your choice and that reaction is what makes the difference between a positive or negative outcome.
I don’t believe in a theist god, one who gets involved in human affairs, but my favorite prayer when times get tough is,
“Thank You, Lord, for the opportunity. I sure hope You know what You’re doing!”
It recognizes I don’t have to like the situation…it throws in a sense of humor so I don’t take myself too seriously…and it reaffirms that I believe in being open to life and willing to learn and grow from whatever happens. It works for me.
Great post. Thanks.
I like two things you just mentioned.
1) Not taking yourself so seriously is absolutely key to enjoying life.
2) It works for you. Doesn’t matter if it works for anyone else, as long as it works for you.