After reading this article by Tyler at [1] Real Social Dynamics, I started analyzing some of my previous relationships, as well as the one that I am currently in. After reflecting, I noticed that before I get into a serious relationship I present myself as (I feel like) an alpha-male. As an alpha-male, I feel in control (of myself), and detached from emotional vulnerabilities. I’m talking about being vulnerable to being hurt or rejected in a dating scenario.

When I enter a situation where there is a lot of mutual attraction, and other things being great, I allow myself to become a bit more vulnerable. The more vulnerable I allow myself to become, the more I feel romantic and intimate feelings. This is a good thing that leads into a long-term relationship. However, things don’t simply stop at romantic and intimate.

What at first appears as a positive progression towards sensitivity and love eventually spirals towards jealousy and possessiveness. These are definitely not alpha-male characteristics. If this progression does in fact occur on a straight line, than there needs to a point where movement must seize and stagnate at an optimal position.

In my humble opinion, neediness is the number one silent killer in relationships. It is when you come to expect that the person you are dating will act a certain way, or feel a certain way towards you that you run into problems. When you expect that the way that they loved you yesterday should be the same as they love you today, you set yourself up for a major disappointment.

So instead of getting into a behavioral pattern of being upset when things aren’t going your way or as otherwise expected, just remind yourself that your emotions are independent of anyone. Your emotions are simply manifested by your mind. So before you travel too far down the road, find your sweet spot of romance and intimacy and hang out there.

• What do you think is the number one killer in relationships?
  
• Do you think the progression that I described happens on a straight line, or otherwise?