10 Ways To Show Respect
Tuesday is Dating & Relationships day at AlexShalman.com
This is a follow up to last week’s post, If You’re Respectful, You Can Dramatically Improve Your Relationships. Now that we’ve thought about the benefits of being respectful, let’s look at some ways to accomplish them.
How To Be Respectful
- Listen harder. We already know that proactive listening should be your first social skill. We know this because we love when people listen to us, so we find it safe to assume that other people love when we listen to them.
- Be considerate. Once you’ve listened, it’s time to act accordingly. If there was anything about the persons tone of voice or body language that gave a hint as to how they were feeling, use that information in your interaction.
- Keep your promise. By keeping your word to someone, you not only establish yourself as a person of integrity, but make the other person feel as though you value them.
- Be on time. Another way to demonstrate that you value someone, is by treating their time as though it is valuable. Nothing says this better than being punctual. If you have a problem with being chronically late, read my post Always Late? Let’s fix it.
- Have manners. This is pretty simple. Do not interrupt a conversation, be polite and watch your ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. By showing manners towards someone, you make them feel valuable.
- Encourage. Sometimes when we hear a silly idea, it’s easy to shoot down someone’s hopes and dreams, or otherwise make them feel unimportant. Genuinely encouraging someone could be very empowering and liberating.
- Be fair. We often find ourselves in a position of power over someone else; to some extent. Having power enables the opportunity to be corrupt. Avoid corruption, give people what they earn-deserve, and they’ll appreciate it.
- Go out of your way. You don’t have to always do the bare minimum. If you want to show someone that they’re valuable, and that you respect them, go the extra mile without expecting a reward.
- Preserve dignity. When wronged, mistreated, or otherwise upset in some way handle the dispute with finesse. This means approaching the person in such a way as to preserve their dignity. The best way to handle it is via a calm and private conversation, as opposed to a public screaming match.
- Do Not Assume. They say when you ASSUME, you make an AS$- out of -U- and -ME. So don’t assume anything about a person based on their race, income level, or gender. Start off each interaction by thinking of the other person as your equal.
There are dozens if not hundreds of other ways to show people respect. However, the key to showing someone respect, is to show the person you are interacting with that they are valuable. Could you name some of your favorite ways to show respect?
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Posted by Alex Shalman in Relationships | September 18, 2007 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 17 comments
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Alex,
Great list! Respect is one of the core values that I both practice and demand from others, so I definitely resonate with a good list of how to do it right.
Thanks for sharing!
“Listen Harder.” How does that relate to Dawud not feeling heard when he’s talking about making our boxes bigger rather than being able to step out of them? I personally like the visual metaphor of stepping out of the box to get some perspective, but Dawud has a point, too. How much time are you willing to spend listening? Is it worth pursuing?
Jean Browman
Cheerful Monk
Transforming Stress Into Personal Power
Good post my friend. I agree with Aaron on respect being a core value. First we respect ourselves then we can respect others.
These are great points. Without respect, relationships are hard to develop and flourish.
I particularly like “Be On Time” – this is my biggest pet peeve, people who are late – especially those who don’t apologize and have no excuse.
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I was exactly looking for something like that. Are you interested in my stingy affections I have a nice joke. What farm animal is a cannibal? A Cow, it eats it’s fodder!
i fine this very interesting mate.. i agree that with out respect their cant me no type of good relationship.
yeah thats exactly right. you should listen. what good is it to act dis-respectful. good job!*********************************************************
I believe this is a great list. What do you think it means for kids in school to be respectful?
Respect and consideration is for sure key to a happy union. My husband and I have been together 13 years and are still very much in love.
I know how unusual that is, but when I think of the guys I dated before him, they were not thoughtful or considerate and I wasn’t happy with them.
My husband is never late, and I know that if he says he’s going to do something, he does. I trust him and feel safe and secure with him. And when he talks behind my back, it’s him bragging about what a good cook I am or how I’ve single-handedly made him successful. And I also talk good about him behind his back and bring him coffee in bed most mornings, because it’s important to him. It makes him feel loved.
It’s a mutual respect that keeps a relationship humming along nicely. And it’s putting forth the effort – because it is an effort to do things you might not feel like doing, but you do it for your partner.
finally I won`t get in trouble for not showing respect to adults
that’s what we all need .this world has no respect for one another so please teach our children!!!!!