Finally! Someone Wrote A Parenting Guide
Tuesday is Dating & Relationships day at AlexShalman.com
When Alex asked me to do a guest post about dating, relationships or family it was a no brainer, since I’ve been out of the dating scene for 14 years and according to Alex’s post yesterday, he intends to be a Daddy one day. With that said I figure that I would share some of my best parenting advice.
Developing a strong relationship with your children is very much like developing a relationship with anyone. It takes work and it won’t always be pleasant, but by following a few simple guidelines, you can be a great parent.
Some of my favorite pieces of advice:
Be your child’s first and favorite toy
Human interaction is the key to our existence. Be your child’s first and favorite form of interaction from the moment they enter our world. Talk to your kids constantly. Read to them. Teach them to use their imaginations by asking questions and posing alternative outcomes to even the most predictable tasks. As they get older, your interaction will shift as they learn to play by themselves and with others, but you lay the ground work.
Set a good example
Children are sponges and they are also your biggest fan!! If you want to raise honest, well-behaved children, then you have to set the example.
Treat others in your daily interactions the way you want your children to act.
Be available
Children need to know that they can always come to you with their concerns and celebrations. As a parent, you need to let your children know that you are always there. You may need to work with them as they get older about when it is appropriate to come to you with their issues.
Set expectations
Children rise to the expectations that are set for them. You must always communicate your expectations to your children ahead of time. Before going into the grocery store, I make it perfectly clear to my kids (all three of them), that I expect them to behave and to help with picking out the groceries. The same goes for school. I let them know ahead of time that I expect them to try their hardest, complete their homework and strive for good grades.
The power of No
Do not be afraid to say no. Simple as that. In today’s world of instant gratification and keeping up with the Jones’, many parents have forgotten that NO is okay. Its okay to tell your child they can not have another piece of cake, just because it is there. It is okay to tell your child that they may not go to a friend’s house when there is no parent home. You have to be able to take the temporary disappointment of a child and realize that you are doing your job as a parent.
I am not your best friend
One of the problems I see in society today is that so many parents treat their children like a friend. You are the parent and you should have friends your own age to share personal frustrations, issues and concerns with. These are not things your kids need to be concerned with. Also, it is not your place to please your children – it needs to be the other way around. As I stated above, it is okay for kids to be disappointed in the short run – saying no and setting boundaries is your job.
Guest author, Char Polanosky, is a Web Designer and Work at Home Mom who can usually be found at Casual Keystrokes and Essential Keystrokes (and a few more).
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Posted by Char in Relationships | October 9, 2007 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 8 comments
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Amen to that, Char! We have some land up in the mountains where we went on weekends when my daughter was little. The three of us grew gardens, built barbed-wire fences, planted trees, fixed the roads when they washed out, built a shed and even a tractor from a kit. Needless to say, she’s not only well-grounded emotionally, she’s also a highly competent young woman.
I don’t have kids but I have worked with them for years–and, hey, I was one myself once too–and this is some of the best advice I’ve heard in one place on this topic in a long time. I’m sure more could be said but every single one of these points seems perfect in my view (and yes I feel entitled to have a view on the topic, despite not having my own kids). Great post!
Great suggestions. If we want our child to grow up with a positive behavior, we should start setting good examples as early as possible.
Well said and great article. I like this part:
“Developing a strong relationship with your children is very much like developing a relationship with anyone.”
The most challenging part for humans is relationship. If you can solve this puzzle, the world is your oyster. Same for kids.
No wonder books on human relationships can sell really well…
Wonderful post.
Our children develop the way we teach them. If we show positive behaviors, they are not far from learning good traits and develop great skills.
Well said Pam!
Oppositional Defiant Disorder – Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a psychiatric behavior disorder that is characterized by aggressiveness and a tendency to purposefully bother and irritate others. These behaviors cause significant difficulties with family and friends and at school or work.