In the case of your first example, being too clingy is seemingly a bad thing to the partner who desires for some personal space. But on another flip side, it’s a affectionate expression of her love for the other partner. If the partner is unable to understand the yin and yang of this characteristic trait and unconditional accept this as part of her entirety but instead choose to change her, it’s very likely the relationship will be tumultuous. If he can’t accept, perhaps the better option will be to split.

One thing to note that choosing to accept doesn’t mean you don’t highlight this issue to the other person. You can communicate your concerns but eventually, the only person who can change her is herself.

Just a note to say I absolutely agree with you and Jean that accountability for ourselves is very important. Nobody can change you. Only you can.

Cheers,
Ellesse

As President Truman would say “The bucks stops here”. By taking responsibility, we gain control of our lives. All excuses fly out the window, and all that is left is to ‘just do it’.

I decided in my early twenties that blaming our parents and upbringing didn’t make sense. If we do that, then it’s not their “fault” either, it’s the way they were raised. At some point someone has to take responsibility if things are ever going to get better. So why not us? I decided to figure out what I would be like if I had had the perfect upbringing and take responsibility for becoming that kind of person.

It’s a lifelong process, but no big deal. Enjoy the adventure.

I guess it depends on what you consider a weakness.

Two examples:

1) During the course of a relationship, someone becomes more and more clingy, to the point that they don’t let their partner breathe. As time goes by, this trait is magnified. Suffocating the partner more and more. Now, this isn’t exactly a strength. The partner could choose to accept this, but still not erase the fact that this is an ongoing act. Had the partner that is clingy worked on this aspect, and was more independent going into the relationship, this conflict would not arise.

2) During the course of a relationship, one of the partners appears to show “true colors” as being mean, spiteful, and cynical. Making their partner feel lower than them, and ultimately being out casted by many people around them. Not exactly a strength either. However, had this person learned how to control their anger, and interact with people using kindness, compassion, and understanding, this conflict would not arise.

In both these situations you could choose to accept your partner, if you are fine with the fact that these conditions will not only keep occurring, but likely become even more magnified. The other option is a split, where people get to work on these weaknesses that have now grown so big that they were unmistakable.

You attract people for a reason, and that reason has a lot to do with who you are. Become more of what you want to be, and attract people that fit that new you better.

Great article…

Cheers,
Ellesse