Tuesday is Dating & Relationships ^[1] day at AlexShalman.com

Relationships can be a fun adventure, in which two people grow together, while learning from each other. They can be a happy place, where the couple are best friends, and work together towards common goals. On the other hand, relationships can be just the opposite; sending you into a downward spiral while making it easy for you to lose control.

Here’s the good and bad thing about relationships. Relationships tend to magnify your weaknesses, as you bounce them off of the person you’re close with and constantly around. Over time, as your weaknesses become magnified, you may begin to seem like a totally different person to your partner. Yes, weaknesses are not the only things magnified; relationships do the same for your strengths.

However, in order to avoid the unhealthy half of this paradox to be exposed in the relationship, you can do something really smart. Before you even get into a relationship, take a long time to think about what your weaknesses are, and what it is about you that you would like to improve. Maybe you’re too clingy and needy, or perhaps it’s that you’re too negative and cynical.
When you are able to work yourself out, you will be able to bring not just a full plate to your new relationship, but a healthy plate. During this process of ‘getting your kinks out’, it is good to consult with the people close to you, whom you know to be a positive influence.

Just ask. Ask them what they think you need to work on, as far as your character, personality, etc. Confide in the people you can trust to have your best interest at heart. Family usually plays a great part here. Once you’ve gathered enough things that you need to improve, get down to the 3 most important ones. Don’t start with anything more than the essentials. Think about the influences in your life that contributed to those aspects of your personality.

Take those influences, which you believe to have shaped you, and throw them out. Put yourself back in control. Realize that you’re able to create who you want to be from this point forward. Be the person that you want, the person that YOU yourself approve of. Once you genuinely believe that you are happy with the person that you have become, I would rinse and repeat this cycle, just to be sure.

Once you’ve really decided that you are in a place where you believe in yourself; a place where your character is shaped by yourself, and what you are destined to do in this world. You are ready. You can now be part of a healthy relationship with another person. Your strengths can now be magnified, and taken to the next level. Your weaknesses will be minor, and their growth will be insignificant.

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