Comments on: Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/ Practical Personal Development Sat, 31 Jul 2010 01:57:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Pat Giron http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-42879 Pat Giron Mon, 24 Mar 2008 19:18:44 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-42879 Thanks, you are on my home page and I read you and some of your friends daily. This article was exactly what I needed today. I had to make a difficult decision this morning and after reading your article it was very simple to decide and feel good about where I am. Keep up the good words. You are appreciated. Pat Thanks, you are on my home page and I read you and some of your friends daily. This article was exactly what I needed today. I had to make a difficult decision this morning and after reading your article it was very simple to decide and feel good about where I am. Keep up the good words. You are appreciated.
Pat

]]> By: FlashLinks: Nov 29, 2007 | Better Living Today http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-28247 FlashLinks: Nov 29, 2007 | Better Living Today Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:43:01 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-28247 [...] Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design [...] [...] Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design [...]

]]> By: Lawrence Cheok | A Long Long Road http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-27098 Lawrence Cheok | A Long Long Road Sun, 25 Nov 2007 04:49:01 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-27098 I agree with Julian. We always can change our decision mid-course. Knowing that we have this freedom to change a decision is greatly liberating idea and kills indecisiveness. Just think of planes flying from Singapore to United States: it's never a straight line path. Pilots have to keep adjusting their flight path due to prevailing air conditions. This is the same as our decisions in life: I'd read that 95% of our decisions in life are ALWAYS wrong. Those decisions were always made on the basis of information we had at THAT point in time. As we progress, new information and realization are discovered to make a more informed decision. In such conditions, it'll be unwise not to review the decisions we'd made earlier, isn't it? I agree with Julian. We always can change our decision mid-course. Knowing that we have this freedom to change a decision is greatly liberating idea and kills indecisiveness.

Just think of planes flying from Singapore to United States: it’s never a straight line path. Pilots have to keep adjusting their flight path due to prevailing air conditions. This is the same as our decisions in life:

I’d read that 95% of our decisions in life are ALWAYS wrong. Those decisions were always made on the basis of information we had at THAT point in time. As we progress, new information and realization are discovered to make a more informed decision. In such conditions, it’ll be unwise not to review the decisions we’d made earlier, isn’t it?

]]> By: Alex Shalman http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-27061 Alex Shalman Sat, 24 Nov 2007 23:30:59 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-27061 I like the fact that you mention that you can choose to change your decision at any point in the future to take a new path. I'm just stressing the fact that it is important to not regret your decision, until the point where you decide that decision no longer serves you. I like the fact that you mention that you can choose to change your decision at any point in the future to take a new path. I’m just stressing the fact that it is important to not regret your decision, until the point where you decide that decision no longer serves you.

]]> By: Julian http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26826 Julian Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:02:40 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26826 I've done most of those options and asked those questions at some point. They work, most of the time. Especially when all the alternatives are equally valid, and it's just a matter of convincing yourself to be be content with the path you chose, rather than automatically regretting the road not taken. For those really tough decisions, I found this article by Steve Pavlina that really helped me. (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/09/making-decisions-that-stick/) The key revelation for me was that it doesn't have to be a "set in stone" decision. At some point down the road, if my circumstances change and I'm no longer happy with the old decision, I can always make a new decision to take a new path. Course correction, in a way. I’ve done most of those options and asked those questions at some point. They work, most of the time. Especially when all the alternatives are equally valid, and it’s just a matter of convincing yourself to be be content with the path you chose, rather than automatically regretting the road not taken.

For those really tough decisions, I found this article by Steve Pavlina that really helped me. (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/09/making-decisions-that-stick/)

The key revelation for me was that it doesn’t have to be a “set in stone” decision. At some point down the road, if my circumstances change and I’m no longer happy with the old decision, I can always make a new decision to take a new path. Course correction, in a way.

]]> By: Lifehack Digest for November 21 - lifehack.org http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26577 Lifehack Digest for November 21 - lifehack.org Thu, 22 Nov 2007 07:18:43 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26577 [...] Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design Alex Shalman suggests some strategies for facing the decisions that otherwise hold us up. Decision paralysis can keep us not only from not doing things we want to do but from doing anything at all! Tags: decision_making choice personal_development [...] [...] Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design Alex Shalman suggests some strategies for facing the decisions that otherwise hold us up. Decision paralysis can keep us not only from not doing things we want to do but from doing anything at all! Tags: decision_making choice personal_development [...]

]]> By: Albert | UrbanMonk.Net http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26547 Albert | UrbanMonk.Net Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:44:10 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26547 Nice idea - hmm..what works for me. I normally sit still and make it a mini meditation, and just let whatever arises be my decision. Hasn't failed so far, but then again I don't use it for big things. Nice idea – hmm..what works for me. I normally sit still and make it a mini meditation, and just let whatever arises be my decision. Hasn’t failed so far, but then again I don’t use it for big things.

]]> By: Douglas Woods http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26066 Douglas Woods Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:12:51 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26066 ...go forward with no regrets. I feel that what often leads to indecision is the fear of making a wrong decision. A fear that, somehow, the decision we make will not lead to the best outcome we desire (i.e. that some other decision may be better) or that the decision we make will, in some unforeseen way, be detrimental to us. There may well also be the belief that each decision has its own 'consequences' and that not knowing what these consequences may be creates difficulties in making decisions. So going forward with no regrets may be an ideal to strive for but putting an emphasis upon having no regrets makes the deciding even more difficult. Might it not be better to accept that we may have some regrets afterwards but that the importance is in moving on rather than standing still. We may, after all, have opportunities to correct any mistakes later! Doug www.dougwoods.com …go forward with no regrets.
I feel that what often leads to indecision is the fear of making a wrong decision. A fear that, somehow, the decision we make will not lead to the best outcome we desire (i.e. that some other decision may be better) or that the decision we make will, in some unforeseen way, be detrimental to us. There may well also be the belief that each decision has its own ‘consequences’ and that not knowing what these consequences may be creates difficulties in making decisions.
So going forward with no regrets may be an ideal to strive for but putting an emphasis upon having no regrets makes the deciding even more difficult.
Might it not be better to accept that we may have some regrets afterwards but that the importance is in moving on rather than standing still. We may, after all, have opportunities to correct any mistakes later!

Doug
http://www.dougwoods.com

]]> By: Shafie http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26062 Shafie Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:03:47 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26062 Hi Alex I decided to check out your website when I saw that it was also listed on Priscilla Palmer's Personal Development List. And am I really glad I did. In addition, I've also subscribed to your newsletter. So far, I'm really liking what I see. Anyway, I agree to a great extent with mostly what you have said. However, I will just like to add some of my views. Before we decide, plan and execute any goal that we hope to achieve, it is prudent that we identify & overcome any limiting belief/thoughts/negative emotions or "Inner Monsters" as I dub them that we may have. This can be done using numerous methods like EFT, Sedona or asking yourself Socratic/Meta Question. Once you have cleared that limiting belief & instilled postive beliefs, only then should you proceed with your decisions, plans, executions & enhancements. Anyway, great post. I'll be checking your website soon so I sincerely hope to see more! Best Regards Shafi'e Hi Alex

I decided to check out your website when I saw that it was also listed on Priscilla Palmer’s Personal Development List. And am I really glad I did. In addition, I’ve also subscribed to your newsletter. So far, I’m really liking what I see.

Anyway, I agree to a great extent with mostly what you have said. However, I will just like to add some of my views. Before we decide, plan and execute any goal that we hope to achieve, it is prudent that we identify & overcome any limiting belief/thoughts/negative emotions or “Inner Monsters” as I dub them that we may have. This can be done using numerous methods like EFT, Sedona or asking yourself Socratic/Meta Question.

Once you have cleared that limiting belief & instilled postive beliefs, only then should you proceed with your decisions, plans, executions & enhancements.

Anyway, great post. I’ll be checking your website soon so I sincerely hope to see more!

Best Regards

Shafi’e

]]> By: EduLinks - Talking, Persisting, Flaming, Aging « TheUniversityBlog http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-26050 EduLinks - Talking, Persisting, Flaming, Aging « TheUniversityBlog Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:47:15 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-26050 [...] 10. Alex Shalman - Overcoming the Biggest Roadblock in Life Design [...] [...] 10. Alex Shalman – Overcoming the Biggest Roadblock in Life Design [...]

]]> By: Aaron - Personal Development Partners http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-25940 Aaron - Personal Development Partners Tue, 20 Nov 2007 00:12:49 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-25940 Anna, I agree with you 100%. Every time we are struggling with something, it is because we are afraid that making the wrong decision will cause negativity to come into our life in some way. I am a pretty calm person most of the time, but when I do feel like my emotions are starting to get control of me, the first thing I do is ask myself what it is that I am afraid of. Once that "monster" has been identified, it is easy to gain control again and work from a position of strength rather than one of fear. Anna,

I agree with you 100%. Every time we are struggling with something, it is because we are afraid that making the wrong decision will cause negativity to come into our life in some way.

I am a pretty calm person most of the time, but when I do feel like my emotions are starting to get control of me, the first thing I do is ask myself what it is that I am afraid of. Once that “monster” has been identified, it is easy to gain control again and work from a position of strength rather than one of fear.

]]> By: Anna Kravtsov http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-25893 Anna Kravtsov Mon, 19 Nov 2007 22:23:08 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-25893 i try to figure out why it is i'm having such trouble making the decision. I ask myself what feelings i have about both options.. I find that decisions are often difficult because we FEAR something.. we fear that something may go wrong, we fear a loss, we fear being hurt, etc...whatever it is.. this fear prevents us from making a decision... so the best is to identify what you're afraid of and then ask yourself whether its rational or irrational.. and then make a decision and move on w/o regret. i try to figure out why it is i’m having such trouble making the decision. I ask myself what feelings i have about both options.. I find that decisions are often difficult because we FEAR something.. we fear that something may go wrong, we fear a loss, we fear being hurt, etc…whatever it is.. this fear prevents us from making a decision… so the best is to identify what you’re afraid of and then ask yourself whether its rational or irrational.. and then make a decision and move on w/o regret.

]]> By: John http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/comment-page-1/#comment-25847 John Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:32:47 +0000 http://www.alexshalman.com/blog/2007/11/19/overcoming-the-biggest-roadblock-in-life-design/#comment-25847 When I'm deadlocked, I find that I use the coin flip. Instead of automatically obeying the result of the flip, I look for my gut response at seeing what the coin says to do. If it works, then I use it. If I get the urge to go the other way, then I go the other way. The whole point is to break the deadlock and generate motion. When I’m deadlocked, I find that I use the coin flip. Instead of automatically obeying the result of the flip, I look for my gut response at seeing what the coin says to do. If it works, then I use it. If I get the urge to go the other way, then I go the other way. The whole point is to break the deadlock and generate motion.

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