Overcoming The Biggest Roadblock In Life Design
Indecision is one of the leading causes of personal torment. This type of confusion is what keeps us in a state of limbo between where we are, and where we want to be. It’s important to understand that there isn’t really anything wrong with where we are. Essentially that’s all we have. However, when it comes to designing the life that we desire, it’s important to make firm decisions and go forward with no regrets.
Decision making could be a complicated process, and for certain situations it should take extensive research and planning before acting upon a certain choice. On the other hand, decisions can be made swiftly and concretely once the satisfactory amount of knowledge has been obtained.
What can you do when you can’t decide?
- Flip a coin and let chance decide.
- Meditate and let it come to you.
- Ask a mentor and let them decide.
Even though it’s always better to make a decision by using heart, brain and gut, it’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s better to use any means necessary to make your decision, and then be a stickler to your choice. People could quite frankly spend their whole life indecisively. They find themselves living in a state of fear, guilt, and regret, without ever achieving their potential satisfaction in life.
See if your decision is a reflection of you. Ask yourself some questions.
- Can you picture yourself in the future, living with the choice you are considering?
- If you could move forward with no regrets, will you be happy living that decision?
- Is your decision aligned with your personal mission statement?
Once you have projected yourself into a life where your decision is a reality, and have seen yourself happy, then you are set to make your decision. Choose, and proceed with no regrets. This process has helped me in everything from choosing between coffee flavors and a career path.
It works for me. What have you found that works for you?
Posted by Alex Shalman in Goal Setting, Personal Development, Thinking | November 19, 2007 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 13 comments
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When I’m deadlocked, I find that I use the coin flip. Instead of automatically obeying the result of the flip, I look for my gut response at seeing what the coin says to do. If it works, then I use it. If I get the urge to go the other way, then I go the other way. The whole point is to break the deadlock and generate motion.
i try to figure out why it is i’m having such trouble making the decision. I ask myself what feelings i have about both options.. I find that decisions are often difficult because we FEAR something.. we fear that something may go wrong, we fear a loss, we fear being hurt, etc…whatever it is.. this fear prevents us from making a decision… so the best is to identify what you’re afraid of and then ask yourself whether its rational or irrational.. and then make a decision and move on w/o regret.
Anna,
I agree with you 100%. Every time we are struggling with something, it is because we are afraid that making the wrong decision will cause negativity to come into our life in some way.
I am a pretty calm person most of the time, but when I do feel like my emotions are starting to get control of me, the first thing I do is ask myself what it is that I am afraid of. Once that “monster” has been identified, it is easy to gain control again and work from a position of strength rather than one of fear.
Hi Alex
I decided to check out your website when I saw that it was also listed on Priscilla Palmer’s Personal Development List. And am I really glad I did. In addition, I’ve also subscribed to your newsletter. So far, I’m really liking what I see.
Anyway, I agree to a great extent with mostly what you have said. However, I will just like to add some of my views. Before we decide, plan and execute any goal that we hope to achieve, it is prudent that we identify & overcome any limiting belief/thoughts/negative emotions or “Inner Monsters” as I dub them that we may have. This can be done using numerous methods like EFT, Sedona or asking yourself Socratic/Meta Question.
Once you have cleared that limiting belief & instilled postive beliefs, only then should you proceed with your decisions, plans, executions & enhancements.
Anyway, great post. I’ll be checking your website soon so I sincerely hope to see more!
Best Regards
Shafi’e
…go forward with no regrets.
I feel that what often leads to indecision is the fear of making a wrong decision. A fear that, somehow, the decision we make will not lead to the best outcome we desire (i.e. that some other decision may be better) or that the decision we make will, in some unforeseen way, be detrimental to us. There may well also be the belief that each decision has its own ‘consequences’ and that not knowing what these consequences may be creates difficulties in making decisions.
So going forward with no regrets may be an ideal to strive for but putting an emphasis upon having no regrets makes the deciding even more difficult.
Might it not be better to accept that we may have some regrets afterwards but that the importance is in moving on rather than standing still. We may, after all, have opportunities to correct any mistakes later!
Doug
http://www.dougwoods.com
Nice idea - hmm..what works for me. I normally sit still and make it a mini meditation, and just let whatever arises be my decision. Hasn’t failed so far, but then again I don’t use it for big things.
I’ve done most of those options and asked those questions at some point. They work, most of the time. Especially when all the alternatives are equally valid, and it’s just a matter of convincing yourself to be be content with the path you chose, rather than automatically regretting the road not taken.
For those really tough decisions, I found this article by Steve Pavlina that really helped me. (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/09/making-decisions-that-stick/)
The key revelation for me was that it doesn’t have to be a “set in stone” decision. At some point down the road, if my circumstances change and I’m no longer happy with the old decision, I can always make a new decision to take a new path. Course correction, in a way.
I like the fact that you mention that you can choose to change your decision at any point in the future to take a new path. I’m just stressing the fact that it is important to not regret your decision, until the point where you decide that decision no longer serves you.
I agree with Julian. We always can change our decision mid-course. Knowing that we have this freedom to change a decision is greatly liberating idea and kills indecisiveness.
Just think of planes flying from Singapore to United States: it’s never a straight line path. Pilots have to keep adjusting their flight path due to prevailing air conditions. This is the same as our decisions in life:
I’d read that 95% of our decisions in life are ALWAYS wrong. Those decisions were always made on the basis of information we had at THAT point in time. As we progress, new information and realization are discovered to make a more informed decision. In such conditions, it’ll be unwise not to review the decisions we’d made earlier, isn’t it?
Thanks, you are on my home page and I read you and some of your friends daily. This article was exactly what I needed today. I had to make a difficult decision this morning and after reading your article it was very simple to decide and feel good about where I am. Keep up the good words. You are appreciated.
Pat