Let’s be honest, you’ve probably been lied to before in a relationship. Everyone has at one point or another. Some are white lies, while others might have been a bit more serious. Did you ever stop to consider that you are responsible for being lied to? In a way, what I’m asking you is, did you ever think that maybe you are the one blame?

My grandfather is what you would call a worrier. He tends to ingest boat loads of information from television and radio, and gets upset over the constant bad news. When something happens within the family he tends to work himself up even more. In a way, there isn’t anything wrong with experiencing ‘negative’ emotions. The problem is that at his ripe old age, being overly upset or stressed could lead to health problems.

If my grandfather could show that he was more laid back with information that came to him then we would feel like we could be more open. In a way, this makes me feel that, it’s his fault that we lie to him.

A couple of reasons why people lie in a relationship is to avoid the other person getting mad, or getting hurt. This is understandable, as such situations can be stressful and emotionally draining. If you’re the type of person to take things personally, to get very upset or angry when hearing bad news, then chances are that people will go out of their way to lie to you.

I want to change my ways, but what can I do?

Do not abandon all hope, there is still a light at the end of the tunnel. If you want to be entrusted with more information and secrets, or just not be lied to all the time, here are some approaches that you could take.

• Be non-judgmental. Take a stance of neutrality when interacting with people. If they see that you aren’t throwing your opinion around, they will be inclined to open up to you and tell you more.
• Don’t over react. Take some time to think before formulating a response to the information that you hear. Your first reaction may not be the best way of dealing with a situation. If people see you as cool and collected in your interactions they will be more inclined to open up to you.