Editor’s Note: This article is written by Dmitry Kuzinets

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” ~Anthony Robbins

Following a few basic principles I am able to feel good, irregardless of the circumstances or what’s going on around me. This ability is based on a few assumptions, and by taking actions accordingly. Living in a constant state of feeling good sure beats feeling bad! Here are the requirements for feeling good all the time:

Assumptions:

• It is possible to control what I think and how I feel. (Take Control of Your Life With One Thought ^[1])
• It is always better to feel more pleasure, as opposed to feeling bad.
• My perception and reaction to the outside world does not have to be correlated to the pleasure or pain my body feels.
• My emotions are not something I can always rely on to tell me what’s happening. Since they aren’t 100% accurate, I will choose not to use them in decision making in order to be most effective.
  • The automatic feelings that fluctuate in response to external stimuli have most likely been created when I was very young, and have been controlling and shaping my life since then. However, relying on them severely limits getting what I want in life because I am often acting on input which does not reflect what’s really happening.

Actions:

1. View reality based on what’s happening.

For instance, if someone is looking at me a certain way, it doesn’t necessarily mean what I’m used to thinking about me, them, or the world. If someone looks at me and frowns, it could mean they don’t like me, it could mean they have indigestion, maybe they thought about how I might not like them, or any other chain of thoughts that a person could think. Despite the fact that people are socially conditioned to assume a limited amount of explanations for this frown, the actual possibilities of what the frown really meant are limitless.

While there is an actual reason for why something is happening, it is based on a collaboration of thoughts and assumptions that have been self-created and kept in existence by habit.

This is why is it so important to focus on what’s actually happening, in reality (time, space, distance) moment-to-moment.

2. Catch yourself if you start to go into a mental conversation about what is happening.

Realize that it’s a conversation in your head, and focus back on what’s actually happening outside of you. This is what I believe is meant when people talk about being Present.

3. Use all your knowledge at every moment to evaluate what’s going on.

The way to get the result you want is to act on reality. Reality to you is everything you have knowledge of. Use that to choose your conclusion and next action instead of any ONE particular thing. Consider everything, at every moment, to get the best results.

4. Separate feelings from outcome

Instead of playing one game of making myself feel good and accomplishing a goal I play two games. One game is where in every moment I am making myself feel as good as possible. The other game, that I play simultaneously, is me getting what I want, at every moment. By separating these tasks, and not having them depend on each other, I am able to work on each one individually.

5. Give up “there is something wrong here”

Anytime “there is something wrong here” pops up in your mind, throw it out. Perceive things as, ‘this is what’s going on’ instead of associating wrongness to it.

Life is not scripted, and what happens at every moment is created by what I do. This is why I see such importance in using all my faculties, without basing my actions on emotions. It is important to realize that to be able to act most effectively and get what you want, you must act based on reality.

This article is written by Dmitry Kuzinets. He is a real-estate mogul, landmark forum graduate, and one of the most ’self-improved’ people I know and most importantly one of my best friends.

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