Comments on: 4 Signs That Your Spouse Is Slowly Ruining Your Life

By: Andrew

Andrew — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:52:55 +0000

My situation was I dated a woman for 7 years who tended to be a spoiled brat to put it bluntly. I am a patient understanding person and always tried to put things in perspective for her with limited success. Over the course of those seven years I found myself acting more and more like her my personality became more like hers and as it did she lost her respect for me and moved on eventually after much fussing and fighting. Now that three years has passed I have noticed these behaviors in myself and tried to reverse the damage. Does this mean her low self esteem made her hate herself and me when we became more like each other? I have become way cautious about dating now. Female personality disorders can affect men much more than woman are aware I think.

By: who's the real victim?

who's the real victim? — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:20:07 +0000

What really make us victims? Is it that we have no juevos to stand up for ourselves or is it that we’re trying to make the right choices to do the right thing or maybe we just don’t know how to deal with the world we live in?……
My husband & I have been married 15yrs, we were HS sweethearts. Sure we were in love when there was no stress until the 2 babies, bills, debts and came short finishing college came into the picture. His parents didn’t approve starting our own family and our world of LOVE came tumbling down and realized it’s us against negativity.
As we grew together as husband & wife, stress took a beating on us. We tend to blame each other for all the wrong reasons, we know each other inside out, the interest is gone….now what? We seem to be lost but we know deep inside we need each other. Is it because we’re afraid to go our seperate ways and move on?….don’t know
Sure you can bash on females ruining your life just because you refuse to grow up. Tell you what growing up is part of wising up and it takes both sides to work together and encourage each other to make it. If you give up and loose hope well guess what it’s your lost.

By: Tina Ezenma

Tina Ezenma — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 11:11:08 +0000

I have to say that while the article was worth reading and relvant,i will like to add that you miss out the fact that some of these people around you can influence one in a positive way.I am married and my partner has been a positive influence in my life.I believe that i am responsible for my own destiny.
not allowing family or friends to influence me in any negative way.Why should they? why can’t i be the one changing their life.You should hold tight to your dreams nobody can take it away from you unless you allow it.

By: Shilpan | successsoul.com

Shilpan | successsoul.com — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:58:18 +0000

Alex,

Nice post. I’d like to add one more. That is – spiritual harmony. What if one spouse has set of values that are not acceptable to other who has no regard for the values. This can create undue stress and possible divorce.

Thanks
Shilpan

By: Fab People Of The Week | Catherine Lawson

Fab People Of The Week | Catherine Lawson — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 06:05:36 +0000

[...] Are you in a bad relationship? You might want to check out Alex Shalman’s post: 4 Signs That Your Spouse Is Slowly Ruining Your Life. [...]

By: MrAchievement.com (Stanley Bronstein)

MrAchievement.com (Stanley Bronstein) — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 23:44:21 +0000

While I believe everything you say is accurate and highly relevant, I prefer to focus on what a spouse can do to make our lives better.

I prefer to focus on the positive, as I will spend my energy in creating positive things in my life.

As for marriage, it’s real simple. In any marriage, there are grounds for divorce after one week. The trick is to constantly find grounds for marriage. I wrote a blog post about marriage and such on my blog a few weeks ago.

Marriage takes work.

However, I do agree that if you have a spouse who is bringing you down, that is not a good thing.

MrAchievement
Stanley Bronstein
Attorney, CPA, Author & Professional Motivational Speaker

By: Flimjo

Flimjo — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:39:39 +0000

Alex, great John Donne quote at the beginning. That quote is the basis for Ernest Hemingway’s For Whom The Bell Tolls.

And good post. I think a spouse has to have certain interests and viewpoints aligned with you. If not, it’s a recipe for disaster.

By: anna

anna — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:00:33 +0000

i dont have a spouse, but i feel like this can relate to everyone in our lives- friends, family, etc..i find that I do tend to become more like the people I hang around with a lot- whether consciously or unconsciouslly.. that’s why i’m careful about who i become close friends with, since those people can either bring you up or down and sometimes its hard but you have to let certain friends go when they are not a positive influence in our lives- sometimes even people we love, we have to keep them at a distance if they are bringing us down.. but on the upside there are those freinds/family/etc members that are a wonderful positive influence in our lives and we are fortunate to have them in our lives… or course no one is perfect, so its always about the overall picture or balance… on the whole, is a friendship/relationship with this person a good/bad thing? everyone has occasional fights etc… anyways i am goin on a tangent lol… post is a nice reminder to choose wisely and also become the kind of people that affect others positively (since we o ften get what we put out)… o and i like the little picture (altho it is makin me a bit hungry) and that comment about females being the root of destruction from the gentleman above .. that’s hilarious…

By: Obbop

Obbop — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:18:43 +0000

With wimmenfolk as addle-minded, self-centered, emotion-laden and demanding as most are today it is the wise man that shuns females. Do not marry. Do not impregnate. DDo not even cohabitate since females can destroy a man’s life and seize his wealth with one mere false accusation.

Enormous powerful bureaucracies, both governmental and private, have been created to assist females in destroying males. Males have NO external assistance to defend themselves from rampaging females.

The only security is to avoid females.

Let them have their cats. The wise man avoids much misery and attains peace-of-mind by keeping the females at arms-length, or farther.