Considering that the theme of this website is Practical Personal Development, the title Quit Trying To Become A Better Person may come as a bit of a shock to you. This site has been a bit of a journal for my personal development endeavors over the past year and a half — you may be thinking, why quit now?

I’m not exactly quiting, I’m simply reinventing some definitions and making distinctions as to what life means. If you remember, the first of 5 ways to maximize your mind to achieve your goals ^[1], is to define what you want. Below you will find my mission statement, with character traits that I want to be, not traits that I want to become.

The truth is that trying to become a better person has the dangerous potential of leading to unhappiness. Happiness is important to all people, and after I conducted the Happiness Project ^[2] I created what I think is an excellent definition of what Happiness ^[3] means.

“Happiness is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be.”
~Alex Shalman

Why can trying to become a better person lead to unhappiness? If you want to be optimistic for example, you just want, you aren’t being. If you act virtuous, you aren’t virtuous, you’re just acting the role. What if for a moment you believed that it was possible to just be the best you that you could be right now? Sure you might be a better version of you in the future, but all we have right now is — now — and we can choose to be the best version of us.

I have been reading and re-reading my mission statement below for a couple of years. This is who I am, with no doubt about it in my mind. Have there been times in my life where I have not acted in accordance to this mission statement? Of course! I’m far from flawless in that respect, but whenever I catch myself, or someone calls me out on it, I get myself right back to who I am.

My Mission Statement

1. I am an outstanding human being in every respect
2. I am honest, kind, loving, loyal and true – to my family, friends and everyone who knows me
3. I am a positive, optimistic, confident, warm, friendly person who is admired and respected by everyone
4. I am an excellent parent (when I have kids), a fine employer and I do my work in an upstanding fashion every time
5. I uplift, encourage and inspire everyone I meet – everywhere I go
6. The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possibility of being someone who operates with the greatest good of all in mind, and the possibility of living in the present.

The mission statement focuses on character traits in the present tense. I chose the tense very carefully here. If I had used future tense I would always be trying to become an outstanding person. By using the present tense, I allow myself to be outstanding — right now.

How does this fit in with constant and never ending improvement ^[4]? For me, part of being the best me that I can be, is improving on different areas of my life — daily. In fact, it’s the only hope of ever achieving the greatest day of our life ^[5]. If I want to run a mile at a certain speed that is faster than I’m physically capable of running today, I will have to train and improve daily in order to reach my goal. However, if I want to be kind and compassionate, I merely have to create that possibility for my life and transform.

Create A Possibility

Create a possibility for your life. Copy/paste the following sentence into the comments section and fill in the blank. Once you share it with us, go ahead and write down the possibility on a piece of paper and index card and carry it with you daily.

The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possibility of being ____.

Photo by eyeliam ^[6]

^[7] Tweet This Post ^[7]