Hugh Hefner’s 7 Step Guide To Being A Ladies’ Man


At the time of this writing Hugh Hefner is 82 years old. He has slept with more beautiful women, by their own free will, than any other man in the history of the world. He must be doing something right.

No, having wild crazy sex is not every human beings idea of happiness, nor is it the only means to having a good time. In reality sex is among the lowest forms of pleasure, below love, below following a great cause, and below cultivating our own creative nature.

However, it does not escape me that many readers of this blog are men that wouldn’t mind having sex with hundreds of beautiful women throughout their life time. While not everyone can be Hef, there are certain things you can do to be a ladies man – similar to Hef.

Seven Steps To Pimp Like Hef

1. Create Your Own Universe.

“Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.”
~Hugh Hefner

We only have a short amount of time on this world. Both to take pleasure in everything around us, contribute to society, and live out our dreams.

When you set your own rules in life you become a charismatic ruler. Within your own universe you are the law. As far as you’re concerned you create your own destiny – you are man!

Besides, if all you do is try to live into someone else’s vision of a great life you’ll always miss your own great life. You’ll never take pleasure in what you have. You’ll never be you. However, I think anyone of us here would trade our left sock, at least, to live inside of Hef’s dream – am I wrong?

Follow your own particular dreams. We are handed a life by peers, parents and society, you can do that or follow your own dreams. Life is short, be a dreamer but be a practical person.
~Hugh Hefner

Nothing is more true than this. When we allow our peers, parents and society to dictate who we are, we aren’t even a person. We’re just a mushed together version of other people’s expectations. The lady man’s only expectations are the ones he places on himself. He is his own motivator and executor.

2. Aim To Please.

“I have about 100 pairs of pajamas. I like to see people dressed comfortably.”
~Hugh Hefner

A real ladies man cares about the comfort and well-being of the people that surround him. This includes taking extra steps to include the physical, emotional and perhaps even spiritual comfort of your ladies.

You can do this by being a good listener, by keeping them in good threads, or by letting them be without judgment and criticism. Of course it’s important to establish yourself as the source of their good feelings. That’s what keeps them coming back to you!

3. Act Like You’re Young, Even If You Aren’t.

“In many ways, I’m younger than I was 20 years ago”
~Hugh Hefner

People have an irrational fear of death in many forms, shapes and sizes. More so than being old, acting old can lead people to have an adverse outlook towards you because you are a representative of what’s old and decrepit. I personally don’t feel this way, I think age can be accompanied with wisdom and experience, which I personally revere highly.

Anyway, if you’re feeling young, despite your age, you are making the people around you feel much better. They’ll be drawn to your youthful energy and look forward to spending their time with you. You will become the source of all that is youthful, energetic and vital.


4. Take Up Space.

Hugh Hefner’s bed is huge and fits a good 7 people – comfortably! Come on, surely you can see the benefit of being able to fit 7 people in your bed, and if you can’t, I don’t know how you made it this far in the article.

With such a huge bed the possibilities are expansive. You can sleep sideways, diagonally, backwards, forwards, one leg up, one leg hanging off the couch, under the pillows, next to the pillows, on top of the pillows. The only limits are the ones set by your imagination.

The point. When you take up space you establish that you are a powerful force that others can look to for strength and calmness. The Ladies’ Man thing to do here would be to share some of this space with the women in your life – of course!

5. Live With Passion.

“I didn’t want to repeat my parents’ life. I saw in their lives a routine and a lack of dreaming, a lack of the possibilities, a lack of passion. And I didn’t want to live without passion.”
~Hugh Hefner

Passion is a contagious beast, and if you’re living your passion you’re leading by example. Hugh always talks about living the dream he had as a young boy. All that he does is for that boy. The magazine’s success? He edited it for himself, and in turn it became super popular with everyone that thought like him (which is every man and certain women).

“I remain very much connected to my childhood … I have never been too jaded or too sophisticated — it keeps me alive every day.”
~Hugh Hefner

You can live with passion, and it is passion that will make you live. What a great win-win situation. It just shows how being happy and not too serious increases the pleasure that we can extract from our day to day.

6. Break The Boundaries.

“One of the things I’ve tried to do with my life is redefine the boundaries that I think are very limiting. I’m not suggesting that everybody should have three girlfriends, or necessarily have girlfriends living with them. I think there are many, many options to living your life.”
~Hugh Hefner

You aren’t going to be the best version of yourself if you don’t allow yourself to be unique and original. In fact, you won’t be the best at anything, you’ll only be a good copy of someone successful, if you’re even so lucky.

How many times have we heard of the term ‘Think Outside The Box’? It’s an expression that means to think differently than you normally would, and/or to think different from mainstream thought. That’s what makes one unique, and being different in a good way is what separates the ladies’ man from the average chump.


7. Expand Your Brand. 

After working on the first edition of Playboy in his kitchen, and selling 50,000 copies off the bat, Hef went on to do great things. You can find everything from clubs, movies, television, radio, internet and every conceivable type of merchandise.

So how does this help you become a ladies man? Well, my curious grasshopper, once you’ve got a good thing going you can leverage it. This works not only for business but for your luck with women. The truth is dating, relationships, and other ‘related activities’ are largely based on a principle known as the numbers game.

When playing the numbers game it is important to understand that working and reworking your tactics, as well as tracking the progress, and then reworking again, is the name of the game. Once you’re known as a ladies man among some, it’s just a matter of the word getting out.

If you like this post please vote for it on StumbleUpon and Digg. I’d appreciate it!

For a complete guide to attracting women, from one of the best seduction artists in the world, I recommend you pick up a copy of Make Her Chase You. Combined with all the bonus material that comes with it you will have much more success with women, guaranteed or your money back!

Posted by in Relationships | June 23, 2008 | Digg | | Stumble | Print | 24 comments

  • Andy W

    I see what you’re trying to do here, but the ‘ambition’ to sleep with hundreds of women just seems shallow. ‘Hef’ has spent all that time with so many different people and still not managed to find a deeper connection. Frankly, no, I don’t want to live in his world.

  • Anna

    funny article.. i think one thing i took away from this article an from Hef is that we are only limited by ourselves and we hold the power to create whatever we want, even if it goes against the norms by society… u should do a follow up for women.. How to Be the Woman Every Man Wants.. that would be interesting as well..

  • Lewis


    Some good suggestions when it comes to being a ladies man.

    I think passion is the key here in this post. Passion drives others to follow you or believe in your dreams and goals. People don’t like to live sub-par lifestyles, and it is the passionate man who the girls want to be around.

  • jatt

    Awsome info..Awsome Photo Blog

  • harry

    You can agree with his view or not but it cannot be denied that this man has had some seriously good fun with astonishingly beautiful women. Maybe that’s not ‘deep’ [and why pray tell wouldn’t it be?] enough for some people but his life has been a rewarding one and satisfying. Most people on the planet don’t come within 1% of what he has achieved in personal happiness, I’m not scoffing at that.

    And the women are gorgeous. Works for me.

    Godspeed, Hef!

  • Yuri

    Hey, I remember being ‘a’ Hugh Hefner at one point…
    Nice article; very useful observations.

  • Bill Riddell

    Great post Alex,
    Regardless of peoples personal thoughts of Mr Hefner and some of his lifestyle choices (I’m a fan) there are some wonderful life lessons in there for everyone.
    His determination to live life on his own terms rather than those imposed by society should be a lesson for all of us, resist the interference of mediocre minds who try to stop your dreams.

  • Vikki Majors

    Bravo! Hugh Hefner is BRILLIANT! It’s not about sleeping with hundreds of women, its about PASSION and LIVING LIFE! Just because Hugh took a different route in life than the main stream, which he even has been bashed for by many religious groups, he has continuously maintained a high level of integrity, respect for people and for life and he has the intelligence and talent to be a successful business man. Hugh’s idea on life can be implemented in anyone’s life. Great article. Thanks for the post!

  • Kashif

    Hugh Hefner is not a role model to follow. From expose in Time Magazine by one of his more famous Playmates. There was huge pressure of all playmates in mansion to eventually sleep with him, not resist his advances, though rules of the house when entering was there would be no pressure.

    A lonely old man, that probably had a lot of attractive gold diggers(considering most of women in porn are in it for the $ and easier lifestyle), but also aggressively pushed himself on many women who would rather not have slept with him if they were not drunk or seriously pressured….I would not want his Ego or his conscience.

  • Virgin

    I agree with Kashif. If you watch the show as I do, he comes across as a sad lonely man who is surrouneded by fake people. He is a brilliant businessman, catering to the college type mentality that serves him. The only difference between him and a regular pimp is the luxury in which he keeps his women and treating them as ladies with respect and elevating them to a higher level than an ordinary housewife, although all they have to offer is fake breasts and easy sex for him. It is interesting that he has not divorced….he may not want to split his fortune…I think it is fabulous that he achieved such success with such a simple idea, but it is not a good idea for real men to try to get as many women in bed as by his example, but trying to get women into bed because you really love and love to make love to one woman at a time until you find the one you really want to be with will be much more satisfying in every way. Treating women well and with respect will get you what you ultimately want and buying them threads doesn’t hurt either…if you try to convince a woman to have sex with you, simply by throwing money at her without having any respect or feelings for her, you will be disappointed in the end and alone…

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  • Brandi

    I am 17 years old and i dont think its right in my eyes to have more than one girlfriend or even boyfriend! On this yunger age we see it as cheating, even thuogh he my see it as a kingdom i see it as that to but why would you want people at your feet!? After hes gone whats the girls going to be doing? Will they still live there or will they try to move on? Stop and think there used to the way they live how will they be with out there master?

  • joe

    TO ANDY (Comment one). Personally, that’s your opinion, you can find “Hef” a shallow person and do something different. His dreams came true and he is providing tips on how to make your dreams come true. You should appreciate the fact that he wants to help you in whatever it is to do but to bash someone and their dream is wrong whether that dream be to collect trash as a garbage man or to win a noble prize.

  • andyni

    everyone is missing the point here. stop stating hef, if he is shallow or sad it doesnt matter thats not what this article is about!

    there are some very good points in there that everyone should adhere to in everyday life..and i dont mean get 7 girlfriends!

  • jayme

    im 15 & honestly? he’s one of my heroes, haha (: i can’t believe how it’d be to not have hef around. he’s so talented at his business & if he gets to be surrounded be drop dead sexy girls, good for him! he’s already in the history books, you can’t forget this man! girls should be able to follow their dreams too, if they want the life of a playboy bunny (well there isn’t bunnies anymore, but you get my point) who are you to tell then they’re wrong. hef makes it possible to make that dream come to life without people finding your career “distasteful.” I watch Girls Next Door & I think his lifes ending better than most of ours will. He made his dream real & now he’s one famous ladies man 🙂 He’s awesome & inspiring. what else can i say? This 7 step guide sounds like good advice for the guy who wants to be a ladies man & great advice for anyone; follow YOUR dreams. I lalalove hef <33

  • jayme

    ??? Ahhh, by the way.. Ima gurl 🙂 i wanted to make sure you fingured that out. i sounded girly, didn’t I? Oh & I have something else to say… Stop hating on Hef. Do you get the point? No, some of you a a little moronic. He’s NOT saying follow in his his foot-steps. He’s in a way saying “treat women well if you want to be a ladies man” & when did you here it say “hef says become a pimp!” or “Hef says get a bunch of girlfriends!” exactly, it didn’t say that. Almost every quote is saying don’t follow someone else’s dream (including hef’s) follow yours. don’t say someones dream is bad or shallow or whatever the fuck. Its THEIR life! Worry about yourself cause I can assure you I can tell you, “Your dream IS wrong, shallow, and stupid as fuck!” Anyone can, but what you don’t understand is happiness comes to people in many forms. I use to dream of being a playboy bunny, I still kinda want to. The money seems nice too. So here I am, tell me I’m (lonely, shallow, a slut if that pleases you, gold-digger.. ect) but guess what? I’ll disagree with your OPINION, because I AM happy (: Happy as fuck! Thank you <3

  • elaine

    HES A FREAK ==

  • elaine


  • sakura

    errrr wth man… your just gay ‘jayme’. so your trying to say that your right? LOL oh please maybe you should turn into a girl, and then you’ll know what it feels like to be one. Pleaseee, we’re not toys for you to play with. Who ever thinks girls are just there ‘to fuck’ then maybe they should go get a better life! because we’re human too! dont just treat female like dogs or slaves! that’ll just makes you a ‘LOSER’!. Plus, everyone has their own opinion! dont just go swear at people! dont you have any manners? What year are you in btw? you sound like a kid, think before you talk!

  • sakura


  • zee

    Well I’m a “ladies man” myself, by the standards and advice given, I suppose. Contrary to what some believe (i.e. sakura, or anyone else above), if a woman wants to, or falls into leading the life of being a sex slave or nothing but a dog, then let her. She’s better off. Same goes for a man (in any odd circumstance.) It isn’t sexist, and it isn’t bias. But there are women, then there are useless filthy dogs that are good only to bare children. Just as there are men, then there are useless filthy dogs who are good only to seed children. Playboy girls, and playboy male associates are a large crowd of both, as all crowds of everything are. Everyone is right and wrong to some standard or another. Its important to live how you want. There is no government. There is no rule. There is no law. There is only life.

  • zee

    also to add on, and to be perfectly honest, age is nothing to consider. it is merely a side note as an excuse for a lack of maturity or presence of it. i’m a young man, a good looking talented young man, barely 20 years of age at that, and i dont believe sections of life carry over. looks and status and talent and age mean nothing for experience, or maturity, or savvy, or opinion. in life, like a game, you either get good real quick, or you lose.

  • Jude

    some comments here, are very out there, and not even grasping the idea of this article, i repeat, Not grasping the Main idea, This article is motivational, it encourages people to follow their own dreams, without setting limits based on outward influence, Simple, if those of you were a little smart you would grasp that and run with it, smh stop being idiotic, Hugh is a great accomplished man, i take my hat off to him, but hmm what have you done lately ?

  • Thor Tomassen

    Being an atheist/agnostic, the question that has always tickled me was… if there was a heaven and a hell, where does Hugh go after he dies if he goes to heaven? By his standards and many other men he is living in heaven on earth. If he goes to hell by religious standards, does that mean he will end up in a world with no women and only men? If he ends up in heaven if there is such a place, what kind of world would that be after this life he has lived?