Honesty Vs. Truthfulness - The Virtuous Human
This article is part of The Virtuous Human Series.
Just getting back from Israel I’ve learned some incredible lessons from some of the worlds most renowned Rabbis. Unlike the birthright trip to Israel that I went on last year, this wasn’t about sight-seeing, it was about having a spiritual experience and acquiring ancient wisdom.
Honesty — Truthful; sincere; not lieing or cheating.
Truthfulness — Corresponding to reality; true.
What I’ve learned is that honesty and truthfulness are two distinct terms, and honesty is only the proper choice if it is upholding truthfulness at the same time. When honesty goes against truthfulness, it takes away from the essence of who you are, and serves as a hindrance in your personal growth.
It might seem counter intuitive at first glance that giving up honesty could possibly be a good thing. Furthermore, it might seem paradoxical to give up honesty for being truthful. Aren’t these two words synonymous?
While honesty is the act of not lieing, truthfulness involves upholding a deeper level truth, even if it takes some lieing to make it work. This is a lesson I learned from Rabbi Tversky in Jerusalem, and I’ll give you a couple of examples.
When Lieing Is Truthful
The first example he gave was of a Jewish man renting a room in the apartment of a Christian woman during the holocaust. The Nazis’ were going around from house to house looking for Jews to arrest and kill. Sometimes when a non-Jewish person opened the door it was enough for the Nazis’ to hear “there are no Jews here” in order for them to move on to the next house.
Sounds easy enough. The Jewish man and Christian woman were on very amiable terms. There’s no reason for her to become a conspiritor in his murder. Wrong. The woman said “I am an honest Christian, I have never lied in my life, and if the Nazis’ ask me if there are any Jews in my apartment, I will have to tell them about you.”
As you can imagine the Jewish tenent was very distraught upon hearing this from his landlord. It meant certain death for him. Thinking quickly on his feet he came up with a solution that would work for the both of them. He told the woman that since he was renting the room it was technically his, and if the Nazis’ were to ask, she could safely say that “there are no Jews in MY apartment.” And so she did, and the Jewish tenant was safe. This truthfulness, to being a good person, and not a conspirator in the Nazi murder went above and beyond honesty.
Another example that I heard from Rabbi Jonathan Shippel is of breaking the news to someone in bad health. Particularly telling an elderly sick person about a calamity that is occuring with someone near and dear to them. At one point Rabbi Shippel was faced with a situation where a doctor was to tell a 93 year old woman of her husband’s cancer. To make a long story short, she died two days after hearing the terrible news, while her husband lived for several more years in good health.
The doctor had basically killed this woman by communicating this information to her, against what the Rabbi had advised him to do. The doctor was just doing his job, and being honest, but he wasn’t being truthful to the greater cause, which is making sure people are living healthy.
When honesty fails to be on the same wavelength as truthfulness it must be abandoned. In this way, a lie will be the truth.
If you have any stories of where you had to tell a lie to uphold truthfulness please share it in the comments below.
This post is part of The Virtuous Human Series. There will be many articles in this series — make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss a thing!
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Tweet This PostPosted by Alex Shalman in Character Building | July 16, 2008 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 13 comments
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This is a very interesting post.
It raises a question of how does someone know the correct way to act in any moment. I don’t really know the answer but I know it is not to be caught up in thoughts and feelings at the time. Any ideas?
Morals are a good way to size up what the correct response to a situation is. Having empathy and caring for others will often lead you to the right decision. I mean, it’s not like there’s a book with instructions for life or anything… or is there? =)
Hi Alex - interesting post. It really is about doing what is ethical isn’t it - and consider the potential outcome before you do or say something. That isn’t always easy, as one action can have several outcomes.
Even your example of the 93 year old woman could have another negative outcome. If the doctor had not told her that her husband had cancer, she may have lived much longer. But then again, the man may have died before her through the stress and strain of having to look after her at home whilst he was coping with cancer.
Amazing post! The story is so compelling, and it really shows how many honest people operate in a very amoral realm. We are truthful when we ask ourselves the question ‘what is right’, as opposed to what is easiest to perceive as right at this moment. Keep up the great work!!!
There’s a saying I came across once that I can’t find the original source of, but which I’ve always liked: “Today I told a lie to be kind, and I don’t regret it, because I am more sure of what is kind than I am of what is true”
Although I recognise that it can be easy to use such thinking as an excuse to avoid being truthful just because the lie would be easier, I also tend to have a pretty (long-term) utilitarian approach to ethics. Doing the thing that brings the most benefit to the most people in the long-term does, for the most part, does make sense to me - even if it means breaking a generally-held precept that makes perfect ethical sense under other circumstances.
Of course, working out what the thing is that will do the most good for the most people, and getting it right is a whole ‘nother issue…
Blessings
Starfire
A minor proofreading point: the spelling is “lying” not “lieing.”
A minor proofreading point: the spelling is “lying” not “lieing.”
Also, are the definitions from a conversation or lecture during your trip, or from a book, or what?
These notes are from lectures and convos.
Alex -
Good to see you back my friend. I remember reading Mahatma Gandhi’s thoughts on the same subject. He considered Truthfulness as the mother of honesty. If you think hard, truthfulness is the source of goodness. Mahatma Gandhi also considered truthfulness more sacred than God. I love this post.
Shilpan
I found your site while seeking precept vs. tenent. It looks like a great site, I’ll have to investigage further!
I found your site while typing in truth and honesty. Truthfulness gives rise to natures laws, as well as it seems, god and all that is. This subject really matters. Great work on your site, feels good to see others helping others. Nice first name by the way, your parents must be very smart.
Personal story on the subject:
When I was 7 years old, in 1982, Some people knew I would be traveling to see an uncle of mine with family who was an important political target by the the Islamic authorities in Iran.
I knew it would endanger my family, as his whereabouts was a family secret at the time and because so many opponents of the Regime had been systematically assassinated in France, Germany, England, Spain, and Italy without much public knowledge or complaint from these governments (with their blessings).
So I questioned, how any one in my family could possibly expect me to travel to California with such clothes? Which was an implied lie, because we weren’t going to California, it really threw everyone off. Oh well… I truthfully wasn’t sorry I couldn’t help.
The Truth I served was Freedom, those who help others realize it are pursuing truth.
What you are calling “truthfulness” is properly called “truth.” Truth is about correspondence with reality. What you are calling “honesty” could also be called “truthfulness” as you actually wrote in your definition. The christian woman in your example was not “truthful” nor “honest” and yet what she told the nazis was a “truth” that corresponded with reality. It was not “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” she “dishonestly” left out a part of the “whole truth” in order to serve a higher moral standard than the nazis she lied to.