10 Problems With Sex That Viagra Can’t Solve (And 5 Solutions)

10 Problems With Sex That Viagra Can’t Solve (And 5 Solutions)

When most people think about sex they think about orgasms, kinkiness, and all kinds of ways that they can derive pleasure. The squares in the crowd (who probably skipped this article), relate sex to love, marriage, and intimacy. The rest of us know that sex never comes free; there’s always a price to pay.

“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.”
~Anonymous

I’m not knocking Viagra®, as I’m sure it does wonders for men’s sexual problems and erectile dysfunction. Although, I wouldn’t know personally, I swear!

Free Sex Is A Myth


1. Sex Is Never Free In Dating

First of all, I’m not suggesting that every healthy, consenting adult is partaking in prostitution. Obviously, it’s only the sickos, perverts, and some relatively normal people with emotional damage or severe insecurities. However, I’m not referring to “free” as in without cash-money.

If you’re a standard American guy that subscribes to premarital sex, then it’s likely that you’re paying for sex by taking girls out on dates, buying them presents, or at the very least spending time and energy to go see them. Fine, maybe you’ve read Make Her Chase You and now the girls come to you, feed you, and bring you presents. Nevertheless, there is a certain amount of time and emotional energy that you’re allocating, as well as the other things we’ll discuss below.

As the standard American girl, who also subscribes to premarital sex, you’re likely aware that sex is not free. I think women are more intuitive about these things. You know that you’re investing time into making yourself beautiful, charming, as well as purchasing clothes that make you look great. If you think this is a generalization, you’re right, and there’s more of that to come.

2. Sex Is Never Free In Marriage

I’m not married, but I’ve been watching married people very closely for the last 23 years, so I have some interesting findings to report. Sex never becomes free, not even after marriage.

Think about the time and effort that you’ve put into your relationships. The good times, the bad times, and the times you wish never existed. Now you just have more of them. Just because your spouse is right there, available, and you don’t even have to get out of bed in the morning to get it, still, doesn’t mean it’s free.

10 (Unwanted) Sex-Related Problems



1. Sexually Transmitted Infections.

Let’s go through a small list. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes Simplex, HIV/AIDS, HPV, Syphilis, and Trichomoniasis. In some cases you could have a disease, not even know it, and pass it onto a partner. In other cases, it may hurt so much you’d wish you had the nerve to cut your genitals off (I don’t know, I’m just guessing).

In the worst of cases, you’re going to pay for sex with your life. That’s a pretty big price to pay.

2. Screwing A Nut’s Head.

There are plenty of people out there that have experienced sex-related trauma. Perhaps they were molested as children, or have been involved in an abusive relationship. Regardless, sex may just be a trigger for a totally unrelated psychological deviation.

Whatever the cause might be, you might just find yourself in a not-so-fun Lorena Bobbitt type of situation. I can’t think of anything worse than your member put under a guillotine (well, unless it’s my own member).

3. Unwanted Pregnancy.

I don’t know why someone wouldn’t want a baby- they’re cute, cuddly, and always smiling (right?). Well, if you are one of those weirdos that thinks babies take up a lot of time, cost a lot of money, and require many sleepless nights in an attempt to raise a decent human being, you might want to take this into account before having sex.

Arguably, one may never be fully ready to take on the responsibility of a child, but that is especially true when the child is not wanted. Is one unprotected romp really worth bringing in a life into this world that you can’t support, love, or raise the way it deserves?

4. All Kinds of Rape

By all kinds I mean date rape, and the aggressive violent rape that we hear about on TV. Unfortunately, things like that happen, and the victims also don’t think that it can happen to them.

Who are you coming home with? Is anyone under the influence? You need to ask yourself some good questions before you find yourself in a very uncomfortable situation. There’s also the possibility of someone ‘crying rape’ on you, when that couldn’t be further from the truth– know who you’re dealing with.

5.. Sexsomnia (sleepsex).

I’m not saying sex in your sleep has to be a bad thing. It could even prove to be quite pleasant for your partner; that is if they’re consenting. However, there have been cases of sleep sex that was not consented, and the “victim” did not even remember it.

If you do suffer from this, the best piece of advice I can offer you is — sleep alone, or seek medical attention.

6. Boredom.

Most people don’t relate to sex as boring. But, it can get that way, that is if you treat it as a routine. Mix it up, do something different, or take a break.

The Jewish people have an interesting solution known as 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. During the week of a woman’s menstrual flow, and the week after, the couple not only abstains from sex, but from all forms of touching. During these 2 weeks the couple gets to experience each other on a deeper mental, emotional, and spiritual level. By the time the 2 weeks are up, they’re longing for each other so much that they fall in love all over again.

7. Loss of Productivity.

Sex isn’t always just sex; sometimes it leads to cuddling, or even worse — sleep. Think about that, you’re minding your own business, reading a book, or trying to get some work done, when out of nowhere, without warning, your sex-happy partner pounces on you.

Since you’re caught by surprise, you submit, but then you’re facing the possibility of a heavy arm passed out on top of you, and you need to plot your escape.

8. Lose Your Mind, And Your Money

I got news for you, if you can call it that, but some people (not saying it’s women in particular) use sex as a weapon of mass seduction. They seduce, use, and abuse a sex partner, in order to confuse their emotions, and ultimately get what they want.

It’s sounds simple enough to avoid, or even like a fair win-win situation — money for service — but naive unsuspecting people can be taken advantage of, which is just sad.

9. Making Sex Mean Something.

Susan Rink once said, “when you’re hot, you’re hot; when you’re not, you’re not.” That’s sex in a nutshell. Sometimes people make sex mean more — like love. Love and sex are totally and completely unrelated. Love shouldn’t be based on a pair of orgasms, but as a function of giving to the person we love.

10. Desensitization.

In the modern world, sex is so much a part of our culture that we may stop being emotionally in touch with it. People are indulging in a tendency toward sex as the highest form of satisfaction, when in reality it’s very low on the pleasure scale.

I don’t have any personal quarrels with the LGBT movement, but I think that human beings were created to reproduce, which is only possible through heterosexual sex. I also think that this bond between a man and a woman can be very spiritual, and that as a generalization, the LGBT crowd prioritizes sexual satisfisfaction above reproduction and spirituality (I’m not saying there is no LGBT love, and in the relationships where there is, more power to them).

5 Solutions To Sex-Related Problems


1. Do Nothing.

It’s both one of the easiest and one of the hardest things to do at the same time. It’s easy because, just as the name implies, you don’t have to do anything–nothing at all. That means no masturbation, no touching, and certainly no sexual intercourse.

If there’s nothing for you to do, why is it so hard?

2. Abstain & Masterbate.

Woody Allen once said, “don’t knock masturbation — it’s sex with someone I love.”

3. Use Contraceptives.

Today there are so many great ways to stay protected and get pleasure at the same time. Condoms are still the leading choice for protection against sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.

4. Stay Monogamous.

Nothing is a guarantee, but a trusting monogamous relationship offers a greater chance of safety and pleasure at the same time. When you have sex with the same partner, you get to learn each others bodies, desires, and what really get them off.

5. Sex As Art.

If you’re set on having sex, and there’s no talking you out of it, then you might as well do whatever is in your power to harness every morsel of pleasure that you can out of the experience. If you’re already going all out, then by all means try new toys, positions, and places.

You can even read one of my favorite sex-books 500 Love Making Tips. Actually, it now comes with 4 bonuses, and a 56 day money-back guarantee just to make the deal sweet.

Share The Knowledge


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If you came here from Balatrin, I would appreciate a vote on there too, thanks!

Posted by in Featured, Health | August 11, 2008 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 16 comments

  • http://shanelyang.com/blogs/articles/ Shanel Yang

    So true about sex not being free! I wrote a post about very insightful views on this by a prostitute called “Interview with the Prostitute” at http://shanelyang.com/2008/01/06/interview-with-the-prostitute/ She’s began as a call girl at age 15 but eventually ended up as a streetwalker; and, she’s quite the philosopher about it! She thinks all women, including married women, are prostitutes if they exchange sex for things only money can buy but that married women are worse b/c they’re hypocritical about it.

  • http://dustinwax.com Dustin

    Alex: Sex for reproduction — if you want to get someone pregnant, there are a lot of more reliable ways than sex! Sex is terribly inefficient at it. Which is probably why the Jewish tradition has long privileged sexual pleasure — done right, you probably still won’t get pregnant, but it’ll still feel good. And maybe you’ll get a little pregnant.

    (Note: if you get pregnant, see a doctor immediately. You’re a guy.)

  • http://www.alexshalman.com Alex Shalman

    @Dustin — Your comment gets an “F” for funny ;)

  • http://www.marcandangel.com Marc and Angel Hack Life

    Solid advice with a bit of a humorous twist. Well done.

    Stumbled. ;-)

  • Arya

    Great! I do believe that sex’s not free…;)
    and that website (“balatarin”) is Persian…not Arabic!!!

  • http://www.alexshalman.com Alex Shalman

    @Arya thanks for clearing that up!

  • http://www.pixelheadonline.com/blog/ Adam

    The Jewish practice sounds like an interesting practice. I’ll have to see if my wife is interested.

  • http://www.alexshalman.com Alex Shalman

    @Adam Good luck, it might be a hard sell!

  • http://www.pixelheadonline.com/blog/ Adam

    It might be a long time to abstain, but when you look at the long term results, I think she would be willing.

  • http://www.alexshalman.com Alex Shalman

    @Adam I agree, and it’s surely worth trying.

  • http://datingswingers.net Dating Swinger

    Nothing good in life is truly free. So you have to think of yourself as part of the circle in life where you get out the same pleasure you put in. The more circles, the better. That’s why there are so many swinger circles.

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  • http://www.hotmail.com fairoz

    Look sex is only human feeling its very good think only not a hobbies.But some them they make sex is only making money i hate them its coming from god.We can live without sex also but if we need we can do with our patner.but my oppenong is before we gating marry we have to check both blood its a very good for over coming life.

  • Leah

    Sex is way over rated actually most men suck at it & woman just fake enjoying it because they want a family & it’s cheaper than getting artifically inseminated.
    You can always get a hot young guy on the side & put up with boring sex from
    your husband. if he pays the bills. Otherwise get rid of his ass & find some one
    that can rock your boat.

  • Samkelly444

    That’s disgusting that some of you ladies out there can openly bash your husband on the internet, meanwhile he’s out working his skin to the bones for you and your family.

    And how naive of males, loving their wives & children so much that they are too blind to notice.. While their wife is out with that ‘Hot Young Stud’, good luck with your VD.

    • http://alexshalman.com/ Alex Shalman

      That’s what the anonymity of the internet does, eh?