Comments on: Shomer Negiah, and the Magic of Touch

By: Louche

Louche — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 18:12:37 +0000

I don’t get the part about handshakes with the opposite sex only. Even with your assumption that everyone reading your article is heterosexual, I can’t tell what you’re talking about. Also, why do 90-95% of straight people still to this day assume that everyone they’re talking to is also straight? I don’t get that either.

By: John of Indiana

John of Indiana — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 13:30:55 +0000

I must be doing this wrong, Alesx.
I don’t touch people, people don’t touch me, and I feel empty and miserable, not enlightened.

By: Ahmad

Ahmad — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 07:38:08 +0000

Alex, actually I’m not in an ‘Islamic’ society, I live in the UK, London particularly. Although Muslims you meet may understand you, often others do not and one does need to explain themselves a lot – but from our point of view a little bit of explaining does wonders for communication and dialogue.

By: Alex Weber

Alex Weber — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:43:38 +0000

Very interesting. I’ve studied Kino a bit myself, and I actually think there’s something to be learned here… When you use touch sparingly, it has more value. Not touching someone can charge the space between you.

Thanks,
Alex

By: Alex Shalman

Alex Shalman — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:18:13 +0000

@Ahmad I guess that when you’re in an Islamic community it makes this practice easier, without the consistent need to explain yourself. Same as in Judaism.

By: Ahmad

Ahmad — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:16:41 +0000

Its very interesting. In the Islamic world the same concept of Shomer Negiah is applied and practiced by Muslims. To not touch a woman that is not your sister, mother, daughter is a commanded by Islamic texts, although discompensations are made where the intention are pure, often in business dealings and to avoid offending someone – by some scholars. Often one has to explain to the opposite sex in a kind manner that it is a religious practice and not one to offend anyone.

By: Your sister

Your sister — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:31:55 +0000

Just to make a small correction. According to laws of family purity you’re actually required to have two separate beds during times of separation.

By: Nate

Nate — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:03:46 +0000

Note that most Modern Orthodox Rabbis will allow a formal handshake between people of the opposite sex–in Jewish law (halacha), the consequences of embarrassing someone are worse than violating Shomer Negiah. (A violation of shomer negiah in the strictest sense refers to sensual touching. Most Rabbis expand upon that to include nonsensual touching–as a safeguard.)

Double check with your Rabbi before you start refusing handshakes.

By: Jarrod - Warrior Development

Jarrod - Warrior Development — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:22:34 +0000

Thanks for the information, I’ll look to increase my awareness about the internal affects of proximity (and touch).