Warning! Being Happy Is Dangerous For Your Mind, Body, & Soul
For those readers who’ve been following this site for a while, you know that I’m big on the subject of happiness (happiness project). I’m blown away by the concept of happiness, its presence on everyone’s goals list, its potential, and how happiness can improve the quality of our lives, or at least the quality of our outlook.
I’ve previously defined happiness as:
“Happiness is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be.”
I still stand by this definition. I believe that we make happiness for ourselves by deciding what it is that we’ll choose to take pleasure in. Today’s mussar (self-improvement) class with Rabbi Noach Orlowek provided me with some impressive insights.
Danger of Happiness
Rabbi Orlowek pointed out that “Happiness as a goal can be very dangerous.” If chocolate is what makes you happy, which is perfectly reasonable, and you have diabetes, then chocolate will kill you. It’s understandable why you would keep eating the chocolate, because you’ve impressed upon yourself that this, for you, is happiness, and why bother living if you cannot be happy?
There are plenty of examples in which happiness can be detrimental to your health and to many other aspects of your life. Just think cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. Such things may give you extreme sensations of pleasure and may make you happy. You may not want to live without this happiness, but what may happen is that you will literally not live if you indulge and experience some very bad luck.
The very same concept applies to mind, body, and soul. Some people might say video games make them happy, some might say pornography, or television, or any other wide array of things. Some of those sources might be ambiguous as to their harm/benefits, and others may very clearly stand out as bad, but you’ll do them anyway.
Happiness: An Asset, Not A Goal
When we look at happiness as a goal to achieve, we leave ourselves open to some detrimental decisions as to what we’ll allow to pass as happiness. If we look at happiness as an asset, something that gives us energy, and puts us in a great mood, then we will be able to use this asset of energy in order to accomplish our real goals.
Take my goal for instance; to operate with the greatest good of all in mind. This goal requires that I build myself up as a person, meaning that I grow, and then it requires me to share this knowledge and facilitate the growth and improvement of others, to the best of my abilities.
It’s an extra challenge to be writing about self-improvement, and for people to take me seriously, if I can’t even make my own self happy. However, being a happy guy, I can fill myself with happy energy and pass it right along to someone that I’m talking to (and maybe even to you through my writing).
This makes happiness a great tool, but not the ultimate goal. Thus, it can be dangerous to constantly seek more and more happiness, especially when the things that make us happy may be causing us to be self-destructive.
Create Happiness in Meaningful Things
If it’s meaningful to you, it will make you happy. If this assumption or theory is in fact true, then it’s very important for us to put meaning into truly positive things. If it makes you happy to compliment someone, improve their life, or to give of yourself in some way, than you’ll always be happy at the benefit of improving the world.
If happiness means making more money, even if it means ruining other people’s livelihoods, then you might be in a zero-sum situation, in which your plus is another persons minus. Here, your goal of happiness isn’t a positive contribution to the world.
If you put meaning into all the wonderful ways in which you can contribute to the world, and make this meaning positive, then you can harness the happiness tool to enable you to achieve your contribution goal.
Further Reading from Rabbi Noach Orlowek
I’ve had class with Rabbi Orlowek, and he’s a genius. I should be having class with him two or three times a week for the next 9 months. From what I’ve seen, I’ll be quoting him often in the near future, so you can find that information here. In the mean time, feel free to order and read one of his books.
If you’ve enjoyed this article please share it on StumbleUpon. I’d appreciate it!
Posted by Alex Shalman in Featured, Happiness Project | September 4, 2008 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 26 comments
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- Some Recommended Articles for Your Reading - September 6th, 2008
- Purposed Productivity and Meaningful Happiness | WHAKATE - September 24th, 2008
- Being Happy - it’s all in the mind | Your Life Coach - October 2nd, 2008
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I find it ironic that your article, which I completely agree with, has an advertised link at the bottom of the page for “dianetics.org”. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you didn’t put that ad there on your own. HappinessMind Control.
Yes, I didn’t put up any Dianetics advertisements. That was a google ad!
Following my basic philosophy brings me happiness:
“Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it it with others.”
It’s not too wordy and it keeps me on track.
You make such a good point here. So many people think that happiness is a destination instead of a state of being. I really like Marci Shimoff’s take on being “Happy For No Reason.”
People are always wondering how so called happy-go-lucky people manage to get by when they seem to spend so little time worrying about silly things like details. Well I think it’s built into their vibration and they intuitively know that happiness attracts good things.
Put value into meaningful things, it is a good idea and will benefit the world.
But then we still chase happiness even if it is just for its fuel.
I find when I am at peace with myself and everything then happiness is what naturally occurs. The only thing meaningful is my essence then it is something that always exists and can never be taken away, so I am always happy.
Then I can focus my efforts where they are best.
Very interesting idea. I always wondered about people who set being happy as a goal. Why not just choose to be happy?? Happiness, after all, is an attitude. We can control our attitudes! Certainly we can do things that put us in a better frame to be happy, but we can always choose to be happy.
That’s one of the most original artices on happiness I’ve read in ages.
The idea of happiness as something which isn’t a goal is also covered in Michael Crichton’s essay on happiness, which is my favourite on the subject.
http://michaelcrichton.com/essay-redbook-happiness.html
All we want is to be happy, but I don’t think that’s something that needs to be suppressed as such despite the potence of the goal. The pursuit really is fine, it’s just the quality of the pursuit which is the potential problem.
I’m visiting all new 9 rules members today and leaving a congratulations comment. Well done fellow 9ruler!
Happiness is an asset… so true. Stumbled.
I’m been floating around the blogosphere and haven’t visited your blog since participating in the Happiness Project. I’m happy to be back.
This post reminds me of the old saying “be careful what you ask for”….
So true. So true.
Your post is so true. By pursuing happiness in and of itself, we often miss the point. Happiness is really a by product of doing something we really love. Cheers for a great read!!
I am not sure that I could agree with you. I think happiness should be the ultimate goal. But to me, happiness is something that should come from deep within you. I am talking about happiness that is at the core of your true self, totally independent of circumstances.I have an article about happiness at my site:
http://selfhelpproductreviews.com/happiness-is-a-choice/
My goal is not to be successful, rich, etc, it is to be happy. Just Happy!
I have a lot of goals, and happiness isn’t one of them. Of course I like being happy, and do things in order to promote my happiness, however, happiness is a tool that gives me energy, and assists me in reaching my other goals. Also, happiness, in it’s true state (as you say) is a sign that I am doing what I should be doing in life, according to my path– such as being a good person, and operating with the greatest good of all in mind.
This article is sooo true. I am now sending you the power of happiness, prosperity, and love.
Mental Perception
I like it, “happiness is an asset”..
What happens when in the pursuit of happiness you take away from the happiness of others, or your pursuit makes you unable to be a functional member of society?
This is natural. Happiness is a journey. And in this journey you will find lots of ups and downs. As it is a nature of life. Cultivate your life with your heart and soul. The ultimate goal is to reach the other side of the life together. And by this way, you could happily reach your destination. Enjoy life. This is yours…
http://dewdropofjupiter.blogspot.com/2008/09/let-me-answer-questions-of-happiness.html
I’ve always said my goal was to be happy, this post contradicts it all but I understand the point of it. Being happy just for the sake of being able to say you’re happy is not real happiness. It’s when you don’t notice that you are happy that you really and truly are happy. Does that make sense?
Thanks for the good read.
@Julie Newman — Thanks for your comment! I disagree with you. I don’t think that not noticing your happiness is a prerequisite to being happy. I just got out of reaction cycling (spin) class and was totally immersed in Endorphins driving home, very clearly aware of my happiness.
I think as humans, it is our ability to self-actualize that allows us to enjoy happiness regardless of the circumstances surrounding us.
I do agree that it’s possible to be happy without even noticing, such as we are in a state of flow, or just really involved in the moment.
Hi Alex!
But if you keep thinking you want to be happy or keep noticing that you are happy, there must be some sort of contrast within your life - situations that make you unhappy. White is never more whiter than when placed beside black.
Thanks for commenting back :).
Wow! This is exactly what I had in mind when I wrote How to Be Happy. Making happiness the goal is like eating a cake that’s all icing. It makes you sick.
“To operate with the greatest good of all in mind” is a worthy goal, which I aspire to myself. How would it work if you changed it to “to operate with my greatest happiness in mind”? Not very well, I can tell you that. Working for the greatest good will bring you the most happiness, because happiness is always a means, not an end. It can’t be accessed directly. I’m glad you’re opening peoples minds to this.
Its very true that happiness is a means, not an end, and forcing ourselves to chase this particular castle in the sky truly can be dangerous, especially when all the light is within to begin with.
A vintage Jewish train of thought regarding day to day life.
I don’t understand why people are so anti-happiness. Maybe their definition of happiness is different than mine. My goal is to be happy. Now let me give you my definition of happiness. When I am happy, I can do no harm. When I am happy, I cannot be selfish. When I am happy, I want the whole to be happy. I just want to give and share my happiness with everyone. When I am happy, I feel the connection with God. The feeling is so great, it is indescribable. This kind of happiness never come from material things. It just can’t. I wish this kind of happiness for everyone. I think most people have a misconception about happiness. True happiness come from loving, giving, and sharing. This is just my personal view on happiness.
This is totally a creative opinion. As we think everyone is pursuing a happy life.