Life Goals: Do I Really Want It?
In planning our life goals, it’s important to start with one question, and one question only. Is this what I want for my life?
I would say that most people don’t ask themselves this question, or, they don’t take the time to sit in solitude and wonder about the answer to this question; until it is resolved. The problem with leaving this question open ended — we move forward in life without a compass.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
~Socrates
We all have life goals, but, do we really want them, and, how far forward have we looked?
What happens when we don’t really want our life goals? We aren’t full with vitality, we don’t experience total immersion, and we’re generally not very excited about the small action steps that are necessary to bring us closer to our big life goal.
I’m not saying every minute task has to bring us into a state of glee and ecstasy. Some rote tasks will be dull, repetitive, and not challenging enough to peak out interest after we have learned them. They will still be necessary!
Life Goals are a Joke
Life can’t possibly be too serious, not when you consider that Life is a Game. Our only hope of winning – or at least doing very well – is knowing, and playing by the rules.
So we set a life goal. We want to accomplish X by the time we’re 80. Eighty rolls around, and let’s say that for the sake of argument, we reach our life goal. Now what?
Triumph is nothing more than a fleeting moment. In the next moment we can hold our heads up high and say “I have achieved my life goal, in the past.” But, now what?
As any good goal setter, we would set a new life goal, and strive to achieve another triumph. The worthwhile goals are few and far between, but the small action steps that pepper the journey towards our life goals are precisely what our entire life is made of.
Think about it. If you spend 40 years working towards one life goal, you better enjoy those 40 years, and not hold your joy off until mission accomplished.
That’s the punch line. The true fulfillment of life goals is in the journey towards them, not in the goals themselves. That’s the long-tail of life goals.
Look at it like website traffic. After several years, you’re still going to get traffic spikes to your newest posts. This might be Y amount of visitors. However, little by little, the hundreds of articles from your archives, will have a grand total of 50Y visitors. Going through all those years of hard work — the journey — is more important than actually reaching the goal.
In this way, the joy of goal achievement is X, but the joy of working on your goal, day in, day out, is X times a very large number; a number that you can’t put a value on, and a number you wouldn’t trade for the world.
The Problem (and Solution)
The key is to have the best life journey that’s absolutely possible. In order to do this, we have to want to live, and we have to have something to live for. We need to have life goals that we would absolutely love to achieve – both in the short, and long term.
Without setting any life goals for yourself, you’re going to have a goal-void. This void is like a black-hole, so it’s going to get filled. The trouble is that it’s most likely going to be filled by another person, and no other person has your best interest in mind like you do.
No other person knows you, what you like, and what you aspire to become like you do. This makes the solution quite simple.
It’s quite simple, and very hard at the same time. Sit down — alone, with yourself — and take a look at things in your life that have brought a real smile to your face, things that have made you laugh uncontrollably, things that have made you cry tears of joy and touched your soul, things that you could see yourself doing for the rest of your life.
Then, reach for a life goal, in the distant future, and ask yourself: If I were to use all my time and energy to go for this goal, would my day to day be full of the things that make me come alive?
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Posted by Alex Shalman in Goal Setting | March 18, 2009 | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumble | Print | 12 comments
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Some interesting points and question your raise Alex.
Superb timing also. I posted my life goals to my blog just last week even though I have been working on them since 2001.
I very much agree that life is an absurd joke, to be enjoyed to the fullest and not taken to seriously.
The ticking off of goals is not what I really strive for, instead I know the progress of achieving my goals I will enjoy my life and get the most out of it.
Also I don’t take my goals to seriously. I change them, remove them and add new ones as I change in life. I dont intend to complete them all – but instead hope to complete as many as is possible and enjoyable.
Such a great post! So many people have no clear goals or dreams and keep wondering why they don’t get any results. Because your mind has no idea what to bring you.
Another big mistake lots of people make is settling for dreams that seem reasonable or doable or just smaller versions of their real dream. People are afraid to dream big and go after their real dreams.
As a result they are not inspired and motivated by their dreams, since you can’t be motivated when you are settling for something that is just a small version of your actual dream or goal.
I have a similar post on my blog on how to find your true dreams that will inspire you and motivate you to take action and stay on track no matter what-http://dreamfollowers.com/?p=9
As always Alex, you’re bang on again! “The true fulfillment of life goals is in the journey towards them, not in the goals themselves.” It’s WHO we become along the journey of life that matters and enjoying the journey itself. That’s where the magic of life lies – in the experiences both internally (in our personal growth) and with the connections we make with others.
Another point that stood out for me Alex is how you point out that the goal has to be what we want, not what someone else expects us to want or that we do for someone else.
You continue to live up to your reputation of giving excellent, insightful and easily appliable tools Alex!
@Bill Riddel Right, it’s not about the goals themselves, but about who we become once we set those goals. I’ll have to cover that in this series. Thanks for dropping by!
@Lana One thing I’ve noticed is that we sometimes save our “big dreams” for later. As if were are savoring them, or, as if we’re afraid that once we get the dream there will be nothing more for us.
I say, go after your biggest dreams, and I promise, after you accomplish them, you’ll think of even bigger ones.
@Miki Thanks for the compliments – everyone likes being appreciated – so keep them coming
Living someone else’s dream isn’t fun. In fact, when trying to emulate the lives of people we really admire, it’s important to not emulate their life directly, but at least strive for the greatness that they were striving for. You might fall short, so you don’t want to fall short of their greatness, you want to fall short of the greatness that they were striving for, so that you could be as great or greater than they are.
Does that make sense?
I love how your mind works Alex. Yes, it makes sense. Falling short, (if we do) should be measured not by other’s markers, but of our own, using the measuring stick of the ‘greatness marker’ we have in common with those that we admire.
I’m a fan Alex!
@Miki They say, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” ~Brian Littrell
this is like the numerous stories we hear of people working 40 years in order to retire comfortably.
They hit 65 and 2 weeks later they are bored and are looking for something to do.
At this point i think it comes down to finding the sweet spot between no work and workaholic including work that is enjoyable and beneficial to others and yourself.
@tom I’m thinking that if you love what you do, you never have to retire… right?
Ohh for sure I think that is probably the best thing to do, do what you love and it never seems like work.
Because really, work seems to be a hassle for people today, a way to pay the bills, and hit that punch clock at 5 and run home and then weekend comes around, get trashed.
@tom – The world needs people that have come alive