Alex Shalman . comPractical Personal Development

Last week I discussed how we don’t need a relationship to complete our lives but that a great relationship can enhance our lives. The advice was to work on yourself first and then work on attracting a great relationship.

No question, absolutely, no matter how valued and wonderful a relationship with another person becomes to you, the constant variable in your life is always you. You are always with you. Now I know that this news is not earth-shattering and I’m not telling you anything you shouldn’t already know, however, it is rather amazing how many people blame all of the problems in the relationship on the other person while never even considering the contribution they themselves make.

You are the only one who can create your life, so in your life everything comes back to you. It only makes sense to work on yourself first.

Work on yourself and get happy and comfortable by yourself and then go out and attract a wonderful co-creator to create a great life with.

One important benefit of developing a healthy sense of self-respect before you settle into a long-term relationship is that as you grow you automatically raise your standards. As you grow to respect and Love yourself you automatically put yourself into a position where you can attract someone who loves and respects you back. You can attract someone who is worthy of your love.

The truth is that if you are a person who wants to create a wonderful life, if you have big goals and big dreams you owe it to yourself to be extremely selective when it comes to choosing a mate. Relationships are such a crucial part of life. A great relationship can help you become the best you can be, it can enhance your efforts, a great relationship will help you reach beyond yourself but a bad relationship can prevent you from even coming close to achieving the things you want.

It is a question of where your energy goes. If you have big goals and big dreams you need to focus your energy on those goals and dreams but if you are caught in a difficult or bad relationship your energy will be spent taking care of that instead.

If you are continuously caught up in the drama of a relationship and you are fighting with each other, being abusive with each other, being mean with each other and one or the other of you continuously pouts and freaks for attention when they don’t get their way, then all of your energy will be going into the relationship.

Fighting anything takes energy away from your life, fighting your Life partner takes energy away from your soul.

You can’t create a magnificent life if you are wasting all of your energy just trying to maintain an impossible relationship. If one partner is a Prima Donna and demanding all of the attention and resources from the relationship, the energy and resources left over do not leave enough to create a magnificent life. Whether you think it is Love or not, if either party is excessively high-maintenance, neither party will be able to focus their much-needed attentions and energies on the goals, dreams and aspirations of a magnificent life. They will be co-creators of chaos instead of achievements.

Relationships like that are not worth it. If you are strong and happy on your own and you realize that you can be happy with or without a relationship, if you have a high self-regard and esteem then you can walk away from an abusive or controlling relationship.

The Law of Attraction states that we attract what we think about. If you are constantly concerned with making a partner happy, and the state of your relationship you are attracting more of the same. However, if both parties are happy with themselves and together they can put forth their combined energies to achieve their wildest dreams and their most cherished goals, their life together is Unlimited.

Isn’t that what you really want from a Life partner?
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Karen Lynch writes passionately and extensively on the Power of Self-Development and the Law of Attraction. You can read more of her Inspirational and Motivational writings at www.livethepower.com/blog