It’s been about 7 months since I’ve had this new design. I love it, and it’s served me well, but I’m going to be modifying it slightly. One of the biggest constructive criticisms I got was that there is too much distraction that takes away from the articles. Particularly the large header.

I’ve taken that, as well as other considerations into account. I’ll give you a quick peak at what the top of the blog will look like. I’m not sure when this will be finished - possibly after I’m back from vacation.

Vacation

Between the 29th of June and the 13th of July I will be on vacation. This is an organized trip that is going to Budapest, Vienna, and then to Israel for most of the trip. There are about 40 peers in our group, 7 of which are among my very best friends as well as my girlfriend. This is basically going to be a trip to remember.

I’ll take plenty of pictures and set up my flickr page for you guys to see. The new design should have a flikr area in the sidebar as well. Perhaps I’ll even take the Everio digital camera with me, it’s the best.

Guest Authors

I know that all of the people reading this site are very much interested in personal development. Perhaps even have a blog of their own or a great story to share. I am inviting you to submit an article to the site. The deadline is Wednesday the 25th of June. Please see the contribution page for additional details.

Feedback welcome

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After keeping a so called bragging journal, or at least a bragging section in my daily journal, I have more understanding of the benefits of this exercise.

A bragging journal is not designed to exhibit conceit, in fact, it can be a genuine source of confidence. It’s not boasting when you want a personal reminder of your tremendous accomplishments when the going gets tough.

Whenever something special happens, you do something extraordinary, or you touch, move, or inspire another human being, write it in this bragging journal.

Benefits of Bragging Journal

1. Builds Confidence. As mentioned in 10 Crafty Ways To Create Unshakable Confidence the bragging journal can be used to build confidence.

   How? Well, when you’re down on your luck, or just having an off day, you can get yourself back into the zone by reminding yourself of a wide range of awesome accomplishments.

2. Index Your Story. People learn best from stories, so it makes sense that we would want to have a large repository of positive stories that we are involved in. They’ll be useful later for proving a point, illustrating an idea, or writing a great blog post!

   You don’t necessarily have to write out a full story. Just a sentence like ‘Moved Marina to tears with Birthday poem’ is enough to trigger the full memory of the event and bring warmth to your heart.

3. Replication. Sometimes the most frustrating thing about winning (yes, there can be something frustrating about winning) is our inability to replicate the success. Imagine putting on a fantastic performance, getting a huge standing ovation, but not having any idea how you made it happen.

   Journaling might give us insight into the exact method, or chain of events that led to the victory, and allow us to do it again at our beckon call. One victory is great, but to be able to do it over and over like Tiger Woods is truly powerful.

4. Personal Insight. The very fact that you take the time to write something in your journal will be a very monumental insight into who you are. Think about it, if your victory is purchasing a shirt for 50% off than it’s clear that you value either fashion and/or frugality. Your victories might be standing up to your boss, winning a fight, not eating that cake, or finding a mate tonight.

   By tracking what you consider your victories, over time, you may get to know more about yourself. You may decide to (#3) replicate your success, or change the patterns of what makes you happy.

5. Builds a Habit. Journaling is a very valuable habit. There are hundreds of benefits to journaling, but even more benefits to building positive habits. When you have 1 daily habit such as journaling, you know that you have access to being a powerful habit maker.

   You could go ahead and make another daily habit, such as running, reading, or any variation of unlimited possibilities. The point is that journaling gives you a access, foothold, or peg if you will, into positive habit formation.

Update From Comments:

You guys in the comments below are making some great contributions. I’ll update here with a few.

1. Law of Attraction (Avani). “We think around 60,000 thoughts each day. By writing our victories down, we send a message to subconscious mind and to universe that this is right and important. ‘This’ is what you want (more).”

   That’s right. Whatever we think about expands. Putting focus on the things we are grateful for will open our eyes to more things that we are grateful for!

2. Build Relationship (Shilpan). “It can also apply to build a strong relationship. You can always be mindful about those moments of happiness together when a rainy day comes as it will.”

   I couldn’t agree more. We can use this opportunity to practice proactive listening and showing appreciate to our partners.

Thanks for your comments guys, keep them coming!

Help support AlexShalman.COM. If you enjoy this article, please vote for it on StumbleUpon and bookmark it it to del.icio.us. I’d appreciate it.

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A couple of weeks ago I finally joined Toastmasters International. I first heard about Toastmasters from Steve Pavlina, one of my favorite writers on the subject of personal development. Later I read that others such as Scott H Young were also honing their public speaking skills with the help of Toastmasters.

I guess you could say it’s taken me a bit longer than I expected to become a member, but now that I’m in I’ve noticed a huge difference immediately. Before joining I used to say ‘I am afraid of Public Speaking’, and when I would go up in front of an audience I would feel my nerves and it would bother me. As soon as I joined something inside me clicked that says ‘No, I am not afraid…’ but I still feel my nerves. Only now I think of the nerves as a natural response of my body, and move forward without letting it hinder or paralyze me.

The Mission of Toastmasters International:

Toastmasters International is the leading movement devoted to making effective oral communication a worldwide reality.

Through its member clubs, Toastmasters International helps men and women learn the arts of speaking, listening and thinking - vital skills that promote self-actualization, enhance leadership potential, foster human understanding and contribute to the betterment of mankind.

It is basic to this mission that Toastmasters International continually expand its worldwide network of member clubs, thereby offering ever-greater numbers of people the opportunity to benefit from its programs.

I would say that not only is this mission statement ambitious, but it’s also well on it’s way to be realized.

Competent Communicator Manual

With entry into Toastmasters one is handed (or rather mailed) their very own manual for progressing from nothing to a competent communicator. It consists of 10 lessons, each one building upon the next.

1. The Ice Breaker.
2. Organize Your Speech.
3. Get the the Point.
4. How to Say It.
5. Your Body Speaks.
6. Vocal Variety.
7. Research Your Topic.
8. Get Comfortable with Visual Aids.
9. Persuade with Power.
10. Inspire Your Audience.

Upon completion of all 10 lessons you are able to choose your directions and pick up a number of advanced booklets. The interesting part about the booklets is that they come with instructions on how to evaluate the speaker. By following these instructions, anyone can be a good asset in helping you improve, even if they aren’t a master speaker themselves.

So far so good. I will keep you guys posted on my experienced with Toastmasters. If you are already a member of Toastmasters, please share the impact that toastmasters has had on your life, career, and self-esteem.

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I’m really excited to present my very first VideoCast via YouTube. I have recently dumped by Dell Laptop for a Macbook Pro, which has a built in iSight camera and enough capacity to handle movie making. It also has a neat integration with YouTube for 1-click uploads.

This video is a quick look at one thing I got out of the Landmark Advanced Course which I took this weekend. That one thing is me discovering my act. An act, in the distinctions of the Landmark Education, is who we are being in the face of failure. Not our personal failure, but what perceive as a failure on someone else’s part.

The act that I have discovered myself to have is ‘you aren’t going to pull one over one me’. This means you aren’t going to take advantage of me, con me, or get away with anything. It’s not a rational reaction, but one that I have been traveling with since I was a child. I can’t even think of the first situation where it occurred but it was surely something silly.

I have seen my act in action with family, friends, people I love, as well as people I have just recently met. A good example of how the act works for me is if people are late. I have a pet peeve with being on time, so if someone is late I find myself frustrated, pissed off, or annoyed.

The impact of me being frustrated, pissed off, or annoyed is simple - I’m not happy. Remember how we defined happiness after completing the happiness project?

“Happiness is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be.”
~Alex Shalman

The choosing to take pleasure in what you have part is not happening when I am choosing to be annoyed. They are in direct conflict with each other. More specifically me being my act is directly conflicting with happiness. My act is just that, an act, and it isn’t who I really am. I am committed to being really awesome with people, so I am glad I have made this distinction and have got a way to blast it.

Since this is my first video, I would appreciate some constructive criticism, so let me know in the comments below. (oh and I know the video shows a really funny face on the cover, but it picked in randomly from the middle, and well… it’s funny!)

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When Tools To Life requested a review from me I automatically thought about how they’re going to be monetizing their site to get that money back. To my surprise they offer a completely free service that supports communities, blogs, personal profiles, and motivation articles. Yes, all that and more for free.

Tools to life is completely free online self help coaching system and support network that is a labor of love. We have been helping people loose weight, improve their relationships, resolve depression, overcome anxiety and get better careers for over 20 years.

I’ll vouch for the site looking like a labor of love. I made a profile and was really impressed by the way the site was designed and put together. Everything is thought out and it looks very welcoming. It’s a social network website that has a purpose

I wanted to take a look at what kind of self-help programs Tools To Life was offering, so I signed up for their flagship program by Devlyn Steele.

Developed by creator and founder of Tools To Life. This is a 90 day program giving you daily reading, audio, video and exercises to learn the skills of making better choices and creating the goals and success that you want in your life.

As soon as I clicked in I was asked to e-sign a very craft personal commitment statement:

I, AlexShalman, agree that I will dedicate time and action to learning program “Tools To Life - Devlyn Steele” and creating the changes and results I want in my life. I agree to follow the course day by day. I understand that change is a process and to achieve real change I need to not concentrate on instant gratification results, but to a process of real change. I know I am powerful and with guidance and support I can create the life I want!
This is just a dramatization

I was impressed because the program demands commitment, which is the missing ingredient in many self-help programs. Once inside of the program I was once again impressed. I liked both the feel of the site, navigation, etc. and I liked the amount of tools available to help me achieve my goals.

This picture represents day one of the 90 day training course. As you can see they have many audio-video instructions, tips, tools, advice, a place to record your progress and list your to-do list. You even get a couch and support along the way.

I even had a little fun playing with their to-do software online. It’s very intuitive and easy to use.

The whole program is self-directed, meaning you will guide yourself through the process without anyone on your back. The claim is that Tools to Life is free and will always be free as it is a gift to the public. I think it’s a great gift and the program does have potential to be life changing. The problem with this program, and every other program, is that it’s useless unless people put in the time and effort to follow the steps to completion.

If you do end up giving this program a try, you have nothing to lose except a little time, but have a pretty interesting program to gain. Enjoy.
If you’re looking to advertise on this site you can always check out the advertisement page.

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“Mental bearing (calmness), not skill, is the sign of a matured samurai. A Samurai therefore should neither be pompous nor arrogant.”
~Tsukahara Bokuden

Editors note: This is a guest post by Shamelle Perera of The Enhance Life.

The closest portrayal I got of a samurai was when I first watched the movie, The Last Samurai. The movie intrigued me to find out more about the history of a Samurai.

While much of the writing about the samurai has focused mainly on bloodletting, there is a lot that can be learned from the ancient spirit of the Samurai.

So what do I mean from “The Modern day Samurai”? Wearing armor and using a sword is not enough to make someone into a Samurai. The Modern day Samurai, is somebody who does that extra something. Somebody who does what is necessary, and they do it when perhaps the odds are against them and others are fearful. They come in all walks of life, with a range of qualities. They have the courage to do what is necessary, when it is necessary.

This post is my way of connecting the dots of the strict warrior code, the honor system of the ancient Samurai, to The Modern day Samurai.

1. Train hard and master the skills

The samurai is a well-trained, highly skilled warrior. They train very hard for years with a focused mindset. In the same vein, you must fashion yourself properly in your chosen field. Preparation is a key ingredient in your quest for achieving your deeply cherished goals. It will take a lot of hard work, sacrifice and patience.

2. Give your 101%

The way of the Samurai demands that you stay fully committed and determined to undergo the arduous journey that will lead to success.

You will have to rise to challenges and not quit. You have to plan to go the extra mile and make personal sacrifices. You absolutely have to give all your mind, heart and soul.

3. Have an unstoppable Attitude

You need to have determination and the will to carry on. There will always be people who will try to steer you away from what you want. It may be an “enemy” or a close friend or family member (with good intentions) that feels it would be better, if you focused your attention in another direction. Uphold your unstoppable attitude.

4. Break free from self-created obstacles

Like the samurai, you must refuse to allow obstacles to deter you from following your dream.

The best way to get better at anything is to face the weakness we all possess. In order to be better, think clear, act appropriately, and succeed, you have to identify the areas you need to improve on and then take action to turn your weakness into strengths.

5. Maintain integrity

Before the days of a zillion lawyers and overcrowded courts, people entered into agreements with a simple handshake (I am yet to find out how it was with the Samurai). People today say all kinds of things without considering the consequences. Have you ever made a commitment to someone, and later decided it was too inconvenient or too much hassle to follow through? Have you ever said something to somebody knowing full well it would never happen?

On the other hand, honor and character stand as the Samurai’s highest attributes. They had a firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic values.

6. Learn from mistakes

Everyone has failures or mistakes from the past. The Samurai is no exception. They take the time and effort to analyze the mistake, and above all, find the right way to do it next time.

To have success, you need to learn from your past and value those difficult lessons, and not dwell on the past. Simply move forward and make better, more educated decisions from the lessons learned. As easy as it might be for me to say it, it’s something that has to be done, eventually.

7. A sword never rules

The Samurai knew that real power lies outside the sword but in the spirit; the spirit to conquer self. Nothing can ever be achieved without conquering self. It is something that has to be practiced all the time. They knew that to be able to really and truly master the sword, they had to go deeper onto their spirits to master the energy of controlling the sword.

About the Author
Shamelle blogs about personal development ; basic courtesies of living, working and growing the life, we all wish we had. Visit her site at The Enhance Life.

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I previously stated that I participated in the Landmark Forum, and this weekend I continued my education by participating in the Landmark Advanced Course. I not only recommend this education to you, your family, and everyone you know but I stand for it.

The time frame in which this course takes place is Friday, Saturday, Sunday and a Tuesday evening. Tuesday evening is our opportunity as the participants to bring guests. I absolutely love this education and I see it as completely transformational. My dilemma is — how many people do I bring with me on Tuesday evening?

How many times in your life do you set a goal, but do not know what, or how much, it will take to achieve it? It is very mediocre to say, for example, I will bake today. It’s fine to say I will bake cup cakes today. It’s powerful to say I will bake 100 cup cakes today by 5pm.

Do you live a mediocre or fine life or do you live life powerfully? The method to achieving your goals is through the declaration of specific and measurable goals. The key is to declare them as if you are the type of person that WILL get these goals done.

I’ve used the terms be-do-have in several articles in the past. Meaning be the type of person that does the necessary things to achieve the desired results. When your desired results are both specific and measurable you have just entered the game, for real. The method by which you get to your goals can vary and shift throughout the process, but if you know where you are going, clearly, you will get there guaranteed.

So getting back to my dilemma. How many people do I bring with me Tuesday night? Good question. I need a specific and measurable goal, which I’m setting as 10 people who will come and join me on Tuesday evening at the Landmark Forum.

How many people do I have to call and talk to in order to get 10 people to come with me? How much is enough?

However much is takes and not a bit less.

What area of your life could you step up your game and live powerfully by setting specific and measurable goals instead of just floating along aimlessly? Share in the comments.

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Let us walk together for 60-seconds as we explore what’s simple and effective in time management and productivity. Beyond the horizon, past the new-age mambo jumbo, there is level of simple achievement that any of us can obtain.

The key is to recognize, capture and utilize the fundamentals, to take what works, and get rid of everything else.

“Productivity is never an accident. It is always the result of a commitment to excellence, intelligent planning, and focused effort.”
~Paul J. Meyer

0:60 Become an Achiever
One of the biggest factors that causes procrastination is the belief that we do not deserve to achieve and succeed. Without any hype just make the simple decision that you do want to finish what you start and believe in yourself that you will be able to handle the responsibility.

0:55 Differentiate Between Productive Time and Unproductive Time
Which part of the day are you most productive and when are you groggy or low on energy? Schedule the most important tasks during your most energetic and focused time periods.

0:50 Identify Time Sinks
Whether you’re hanging out by the water cooler, surfing YouTube, or idling in front of the television you know what your own vices are. Think about the difference you could make in the world if you traded these time sinks for productivity.

0:45 Goals — Clarify
Clarify exactly what your goals. This will prevent you from being stuck in a position where you don’t know the next action and help you avoid times when you don’t know the reason for why you’re doing something. Make sure your goals are not only clear, but time sensitive, and that you have a concise reason for wanting to accomplish your goal.

0:40 Break Down Tasks
Another big reason for procrastination is that our goals seem too big for us to attempt to achieve. The simple solution is to break up your huge goals into easy to manage tasks and just go ahead and bump them off your task list.

0:35 Get Accountable
When your willpower is questioned, it helps to have people in your life to keep you accountable. Just like my friends who read this blog would not tolerate any negativity from me, you could start a blog, forum, or find friends, family, and co-workers to keep you accountable about your productivity ventures.

0:30 Lists, lists, lists
Have a to-do list running so that you aren’t caught with nothing to do. Whether it’s what you should clean, buy at the store, accomplish at work, read, exercise on, etc. make sure you’re never stuck sitting there with nothing to do. This doesn’t mean don’t relax, but when you do relax do it to your fullest, not because you’re stuck.

0:25 Finish What You Start <period>
When you take on a task you invest time into it. When you put a task off for later you have the potential to never return to it. This is a waste of invested time. Build up momentum and see your tasks through from start to finish without interruptions whenever this is feasible.

0:20 Say ‘No’
Whenever an interruption, or a task that will throw off your schedule presents itself, say no. Do not think that you are being selfish, or unkind to other people that need you — rather think of yourself as disciplined and productive and do not allow anything to be an excuse for reaching your personal goals.

0:15 No Excuses, Be Your Word
Just think of excuses as a breach of integrity where there is a disconnect between giving your word (to yourself or others) and doing the actions. Eliminate all excuses, no matter how good they sound, and do as Nike would do — just do it.

0:10 Breathe
Breathe because this has been an intense 60 seconds and because breathing will send oxygen to your brain and increase your focus. You’ll be rejuvenated for your very next task. Make a commitment to meditate for 15 minutes each morning when you wake up to facilitate high energy and concentration.

0:05 Celebrate Victory
Do a little pre-victory celebration; you deserve it. You now know everything it takes to be super productive. All you need to do is go out there and do it.

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Ten years ago I decided to take a more scientific investigation into the concept of luck. I decided that the best method was to examine why some people are consistently lucky whilst others encounter little but ill fortune. In short, why some people seem to live charmed lives full of lucky breaks and chance encounters, while others experience one disaster after another. ~Dr. Richard Wiseman

Editor’s Note: This is a guest article by Stu.

If you’re anything like me you probably thought being lucky or unlucky was just random chance, and omens and talismans had no effect on your life. Black cats are just cats, mirrors are made of glass and are bound to break, and a rabbit’s foot belongs on a rabbit.

And you will probably be happy to know that to increase your luck you don’t have to start carrying around animal feet.

Dr. Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor, did a 10 year study of luck. He found people who considered themselves to be very lucky and people who considered themselves to be very unlucky and he looked to see if there was any difference between the two groups.

He found four major differences. Lucky people are good at:

1. Creating and noticing chance opportunities
2. Making decisions by listening to their intuition
3. Creating self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations
4. Adopting a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good

Dr. Wiseman didn’t stop there though. He took what he had learned and made a ‘luck school’. Unfortunately the good doctor doesn’t go in to much detail on specific exercises that he got people to do at his luck school, and I couldn’t find anything in any of his research, but knowing the four things we’re trying to develop it’s easy to come up with some effective exercises.

Creating and noticing chance opportunities:

• Change up your daily routine - Dr. Wiseman found that this was a common practice of lucky people. You could do something like take a different route to work or school each day, or go shopping for groceries somewhere new.
• Talk to people you wouldn’t normally talk to - Dr. Wiseman found that one lucky person would pick a color before going to a party and only talk to people wearing that color.
• Try something new - You could join a sports team or organization, go to poetry reading or an art gallery, take a class at a local college or even take a walk in the park. Get out and create opportunities for luck

Making decisions by listening to their intuition:

• Practice going with your gut instinct - Next time someone asks you something, just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Turn the verbal filter off for a little while.
• Understand your intuition - Next time you judge someone by a first impression take a serious look at how you came to that judgment. If you understand your intuition you’re more likely to trust it.

Creating self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations:

• Get rid of negative thoughts and expectations - An important part of thinking positively is not thinking negatively. Every negative situation is an opportunity to think positively.
• Best case scenario - Write down or just think about how your positive expectations are going to come true. This is a trick I’ve picked up from playing a lot of sports. Visualizing myself kicking the soccer ball and seeing it go into the net makes that scenario more likely to happen.

Adopting a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good:

• See the silver lining - Dr. Wiseman presented his lucky and unlucky groups with a scenario where they were in a bank while it was being robbed and they got shot in the arm. The unlucky people viewed this as very unlucky, whereas the lucky people thought they were lucky they hadn’t been killed.
• How are you benefiting? - If you were to lose your job for instance, how would you benefit from it? Possibilities include more free time, the opportunity to find a better job, and the chance to meet new people at a new job.
• How has bad luck helped you? - Take a look at the last month and trace back the circumstances that led to something good happening. Chances are that somewhere along the way some bad luck entered into the equation, and yet you achieved a positive outcome.

In the end, being lucky has nothing to do with luck. It’s a lifestyle that creates opportunity and fosters a positive outlook. Being lucky is simply being a better, more outgoing person.

Further Reading:
The Luck Factor (pdf) by Richard Wiseman

About the Author

This guest post is by Stu, who blogs at Improved Lives and writes about how to use psychology for personal growth in posts like 112 Quick and Easy Personal Growth Exercises.

If you like this article please vote for it on StumbleUpon and Digg it. I’m currently accepting more guest articles.

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“The road to positivity is strewn with the abandoned vehicles of the faint-hearted.”
~Peter McWilliams

Editor’s Note: This article was contributed by Heather Johnson.

Each of us experience setbacks in life, all of which provide us with valuable lessons about the human condition. It is not the setback itself that influences your future, but rather how to react to the negative situation. You’ve heard the adage many times about turning lemons into lemonade, right? Well, this sentiment is absolutely true and can tremendously improve your quality of life.

Turning a negative experience into something more positive isn’t always easy. In fact, some of the most tragic moments in our life seem never-ending when we are experiencing them. However, there is always a way to take a bad situation and extract something positive from it. Below are five ways to do just that.

1. “This too shall pass.” That is what you should initially tell yourself when something bad happens. Repeat those words in your head and even aloud if it helps. The important thing is that you do not panic, as this will only exasperate the negative experience. Every bad moment in your life will end, which can be a comfort during the worst of times.

2. Find purpose in the experience. Some people believe that everything happens for a reason. While you may not buy into that philosophy, you can at least give each experience a purpose. Try to think of a lesson that the experience has taught you. Did you meet a new friend while going through this time? Did you learn how not to do something?

3. Keep your sense of humor handy. This applies to everything in your life. Almost every situation allows for a bit of levity, so remain humble and try seeing the humorous side of things. Even if it isn’t appropriate to joke about something aloud, you can make humorous observations in your mind to keep you on a positive track.

4. Don’t dwell on negative moments. You will not help anyone by stewing in a moment that has already passed. Whether you were hurt, embarrassed or both, the negative emotions you felt before should not remain fresh in your psyche. If you continue to dwell in the negative, you will never find your way out again.

5. Set a new goal to work towards. As I said before, you should never dwell in your past negative experiences. Sometimes it is hard to get out of a funk, however. The best way to rise up from a bad experience and move on from a situation is to set new, positive goals to focus on. This will give you something good to strive for and will take your mind off whatever has occurred.

About the author:
This article is contributed by Heather Johnson, a freelance writer as well as a regular commentator on the topic of credit card reviews. Heather invites your questions, comments and freelancing job inquiries at heatherjohnson2323 at gmail dot com.

Photo by Nicholas T

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